January 5, 2011

No Trash Pick-Ups on Wednesdays

Most women experience some sort of short-term memory loss during their pregnancy. This usually occurs during the first and third trimester. Research on this phenomenon is pretty limited, and no one knows exactly why it happens. Perhaps a pregnant woman is overwhelmed by everything that’s happening. Perhaps she’s tired. Perhaps it’s a hormonal imbalance. Or perhaps, like some researchers think, it may just be the woman’s own perception. 

Jessie: I can’t find my cell phone. Do you know where it is?
Me: No. You’re always misplacing things.
Jessie: That’s because I’m pregnant. Your memory worsens when you’re pregnant.
Jessie: We’re eating out with my family tonight.
Me: Why didn’t you tell me earlier?
Jessie: I forgot. It’s not my fault. Being pregnant causes memory loss, remember? 

It doesn’t matter what the situation is, memory loss attributed to pregnancy is the excuse every time. At first, I was kind of annoyed at this because Jessie was already a pretty absentminded person before she even got pregnant. As far as I’m concerned, her latest lapses with memory have nothing to do with being pregnant. 

Well, I’ve now found a way to use her memory excuse to my own advantage. You see, whenever a disagreement arises about something that was said or done, it’s always up for grabs as to who’s correct. Not any longer.

Jessie: You forgot something today. Are you pregnant?
Me: What? I didn’t forget anything.
Jessie: You forgot to take out the trash! Who’s the one who can’t remember anything?! You must be pregnant! Haha!
Me: No, you’re pregnant because I didn’t forget. NO TRASH PICK-UPS ON WEDNESDAYS!! Boo-yah! In your face!
Jessie: But, you took the trash out on Wednesday, last time.
Me: No, I didn’t. I’ve never thrown the trash out on Wednesdays.
Jessie: Yes, you have. I remember!
Me: You must be getting your days mixed up. How is it possible that you can remember anything from last week? You’re pregnant. Being pregnant causes memory loss, remember?
Jessie: But I –
Me: Shhh….it’s OK. 

Sorry I had to end your little celebration a bit prematurely. Better luck next time, bub! I hear vitamin B-12 is good for the memory.

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