Training Days

During Thanksgiving dinner, I sat next to my cousin, Peggy, who has a baby that was born about two weeks before Caitlyn. As we talked about our babies, I asked how hers was with strangers. She said that her baby had no problems being held by other people. As a test, I asked to hold her, and sure enough, her baby was just as calm in my arms as her mom’s.

This just highlighted our already glaring problem of Caitlyn crying whenever she’s with people other than the wife and me. Peggy, as well as numerous other people, has said the way to fix this problem is to take her out often and let her interact with as many different people as possible.

However, that’s exactly what we do. On weekdays, the wife dutifully takes the baby out for spins around the neighborhood, and at night, we go to Jessie’s parent’s house to interact with her family members. On weekends, we take her to the park, shopping mall, and restaurants to get used to different scenes. We also visit different people or invite people to come to visit us. However, these don’t seem to be helping much.

I think the problem for us is consistency. Having a person hold Caitlyn for one day and then not seeing that person for another week or more doesn’t do much to ingrain that person into her memory. It took Jessie’s mom almost a month of constantly seeing and holding the baby before Caitlyn finally allowed her to hold her without crying. But most people don’t have the luxury of living so close to us as to come and visit every day.

Another problem is that when people hold Caitlyn, the instant she starts crying, they hand her right back. People seem to value their hearing a bit more than making sure our baby is accustomed to them. Caitlyn has fine-tuned a piercing shriek that would make anyone that’s not hard of hearing cringe. Perhaps we should set-up a rewards program where people earn points for every minute they’re able to hold Caitlyn. Or maybe we should give out earplugs before they attempt to hold her.

It also seems that having a nanny helps a baby become more accustomed to different people. The majority of people we know with well-balanced babies all send them to a nanny’s. This time apart probably allows the baby to not become so attached to the mom. Caitlyn sees the wife 24 hours a day. It’s no surprise that’s the only person she wants.

A few days ago, we were talking to my parents on the phone and bemoaning the fact that Caitlyn still clings to her mom like super glue. My dad confidently chimes in and says that when they come to visit in about a month, he’ll have Caitlyn begging him to hold her within two days. Bwahahaha! Such innocent and naïve talk. This will definitely be entertaining to see.

A few family members

Let the training begin!

 

Happy in Mommy's arms

Thinking about it...

 

Thinking about it...

WAH!!!

Playing with her crinkly paper

The next Mozart

Getting acquainted time

A Thanksgiving Story

Last Thursday, we had Thanksgiving dinner with some relatives. I really didn’t have high expectations for Caitlyn’s behavior, and she made sure not to disappoint. The instant we step into the restaurant and people start looking at her, she begins bawling. It’s loud enough that the wife decides to take her outside until she can calm down.

Fifteen minutes into dinner, the wife is still missing, so I go off to find her. I find her pacing around outside with the baby still crying. She’s looking a bit flustered, so I know I need to watch my step. At her request, I go back into the restaurant to get the baby’s pacifier and stroller, but neither do much to calm Caitlyn down.

As I’m keeping her company, my cousin’s wife comes out to check on us. She reminds me that I’m supposed to be the expert here and wonders why I’m not in control of the situation. Well, the short answer to that is while I may be up to my neck in baby trivia, knowing and actually doing are two completely different things.

I am not a god among men, but a mere mortal. When the baby is as worked up as she is, Daddy’s pretty much useless. And when Mommy is having trouble with the baby as well, then we’re completely screwed.

It probably takes about 30 minutes to get Caitlyn settled down, during which time I'm told to go back to the restaurant to eat. The wife states that she will stay outside with the baby a bit longer. Hah! As if. I’m not about to sleep on the couch for the night for falling into that trap.

While the wife may say, “It’s OK, honey. I got it. You go back and enjoy dinner,” what she really means is, “I dare you to leave me here to suffer all by myself with the spawn of Satan.”

My cousin's wife agrees that most women do secretly wish that their husbands could suffer through the things they suffer through. But after a few minutes of stubbornly refusing to leave, I finally decide not to argue and leave my fate in the wife’s hands, though I promise to be back in a bit to check on them.

When I return, Caitlyn’s calmed down enough that we think it’s OK to go back into the restaurant, and we eventually work our way back to our table. We shouldn’t have gotten our hopes up, because Caitlyn starts crying again when we get there, and the wife is forced to take her outside yet again.

After the wife pulls another 15-minute disappearing act, I decide to throw in the towel, call it a night, and head off to find her so we can go home. The funny thing is, the moment we put Caitlyn in her car seat, she stops crying because she knows we’re going home.

She does the same thing at Jessie’s parent’s house when we go over for dinner. Caitlyn will begin fussing after she’s had her fill of being over there, and when we put her in the stroller to go home, she stops fussing. Now that’s a smart baby.

While dinner might not have been a smashing success, I’m sure we managed to make many of the people there extremely grateful for having a more agreeable baby than ours. That's definitely keeping in line with the Thanksgiving spirit.  Plus, I did come out of this debacle with a juicy, turkey drumstick as take-home food. For that, I am truly thankful.

Reading her favorite book

Staring out the window

 

Kissing Mr. Turtle

Caught!

 

The Three Amigos

Caitlyn and Harry

You lookin' at me?!

Ready for an afternoon stroll

I am Not a Sickly Person

So much for saying in my last post that I was almost back to feeling 100%. Another week and two trips to the doctor have gone by and I’m just now starting to feel a bit better. The wife also developed a brief, mild cold during this time. In other words, she’s has been taking care of the baby by herself for two weeks on a tank that’s near empty. Something she’s not exactly thrilled about.

For these past two weeks, I’ve had to endure constant lectures from the wife about how weak my body is and how susceptible it is to colds. But the fact is, my body is not weak and it’s not any more susceptible to colds than the average person. I just don't really take care of myself when I do get a cold. If anything, I would go out on a limb and say that my body’s actually less susceptible to colds than the average person.

According to medical studies, adults have around 2-4 colds a year. I’m going to assume most of these people have regular office jobs. I, on the other hand, work at a school where the risk of catching something from a student runs a lot higher.

When I first got into teaching, I was sick just about every week. There was no avoiding it. Try not getting sick when you’re surrounded by kids that cough without covering their mouth, have runny noses, and don’t wash their hands. In short, they’re walking germ factories. But through the years, I developed an immune system that cut back the number of times I got sick.

If the average person gets sick 2-4 times a year, then I’ll say I probably get sick 3-5 times a year. That’s being sick once every 2.4 to 4 months. Not too shabby for working in a high-risk zone if you ask me. So, instead of going around and telling people how sickly I am, the wife should actually praise me for not getting sick more often.

We’ve both been surprised at how Caitlyn hasn’t gotten sick yet from all the coughing that’s been going on. But in reality, maybe we really shouldn’t be.

This is because during pregnancy, antibody-like proteins called immunoglobulin G (IgG), made in the mother's immune system, make their way across the placenta and into the baby's body. These immunoglobulins stick around for several months and are considered the most important antibodies for fending off bacterial and viral infections. They give babies an added level of protection during the time in which they are not effectively able to make their own antibodies.

Babies that are also breastfed continue to receive other immunoglobulins, proteins, and minerals from their mother. This process is called passive immunity because the mother is “passively” passing on her antibodies to her child. These immunoglobulins also help prevent babies from developing diseases and infections.

However, infants gradually get less and less benefit from their mother's antibodies as time passes by. A baby's immune system will continue developing during the first 12 months of life, but critically, it is at its weakest at around 6 months of age. This is the period between when the protection passed on from their mother starts to decrease and they are able to develop their own immunity.

This why we’ve heard so many stories of other people’s babies getting sick after 6 months. So perhaps it’s a good thing I’m having my cold right now. Might as well put those immunoglobulins to work before they’re gone! 

Speaking of getting sick, I'm currently teaching on the topic of health and what people can do to stay healthy. One way is to laugh. Did you know that babies laugh around 300 times a day while adults only laugh about 10-17 times? On that note, here's a joke to bring a chuckle out of you!

Question: What do you get when you cross a baby with soldiers?

Answer: Infantry!

Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!

Cuter in overalls than a dress

Grandpa and Caitlyn

Practicing how to sit

Trying to encourage her to crawl

 

Look Ma! No hands!

Sorry for making you sick!

 

Trying on her new pj's

Playtime with Ms. Bunny

Caitlyn has now mastered the fake cry

Healthy Baby, Sick Daddy, Constipated Mommy

Ever since we took Caitlyn to the doctor’s concerning her flexed feet, the wife has been a bit on edge. That’s to be expected, but add a sick husband, a fussy baby, and constipation into the mix, and you’ve got a woman you really don’t want to mess with.

I’ve been inactive for a week now because of a cold. To make sure the baby stays safe, Jessie has kept my contact with the baby to a bare minimum and has made me wear a face mask at all times. I’ve also become reacquainted with my old friend, the couch, at night. My only job is to steer clear of the pair of them, sit at the far end of the room, and not breathe. That means the wife has had to shoulder most of the workload, 24-7.

I feel pretty crummy about this and feel responsible for making her work even more than she already is. While getting sick wasn’t really my fault, I could have done more to take care of myself when I felt myself coming down with something. Instead, I tried to hide my cold and took some Advil, hoping that would make things all better.

It wasn’t until Wednesday, amid the wife's threats, that I was finally forced into seeing the doctor. If I had actually gone to the doctor’s when I first felt sick last Friday, I’d probably be all better by now. Instead, I’m still here sniffling around with a sore throat.

All and all, I’ve got to commend Jessie for dealing with the present situation like the little trooper she is. There hasn’t been any angry backlash, resentment, or angry comments directed towards me, but I know she’s been repressing quite a bit of pent of frustration. A lot of it coming from the fact that we didn’t know if anything was wrong with Caitlyn or not.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel now. Yesterday, Caitlyn had an ultrasound done of her brain and spine, and today, the wife went in to review over the results with the doctor. Everything seems to be OK; we just need to have a follow-up in 3 months time as a precaution. Whew! We dodged a bullet there.

Now that the we can have some peace of mind about Caitlyn’s well-being, and me almost being back to 100%, the only thing left to take care of is the wife's constipation. Nothing a good enema and prune juice won’t take care of in a jiffy!
 

Enjoying the park

Whee!

 

Smile for Daddy!

Someone knows she's cute

 

All smiles

How could you not smile along?

 

Playing with her crinkly paper

When are you going to start crawling?

Yet Another Thing to Worry About

For the past couple months, I’ve noticed that Caitlyn’s legs seemed to be extended straight and stiff, with her feet almost always flexed to a point, more often than other babies. They were rarely in a relaxed state. No one else seemed to really be concerned about it, so I initially dismissed it as nothing. But then I read, awhile back, that babies whose muscles are always tensed up could have developmental problems.

When we went to the doctor’s last Tuesday for Caitlyn’s wellness check, I mentioned my concern to the doctor. She examined her leg muscles and agreed that they seemed more muscular and tighter than they should be. When she picked Caitlyn up and tried placing her feet on the table, her feet remained pointed and refused to be placed flat on the table. The doctor referred us to a specialist at another hospital and an appointment was made for the following Thursday.

When I came back from work yesterday, I asked Jessie how things went. She said the doctor made the same comments as our pediatrician, but this time making the additional comment that he felt Caitlyn’s arms were also a bit more muscular than normal. While he wouldn’t outright say if he felt anything was wrong with our baby, he scheduled an appointment for us this Friday with another doctor to have an ultrasound done of the brain and spine to see if anything's neurologically wrong.

Immediately, I’m having flashbacks back to when the doctors told us Caitlyn might have spina bifida. It’s not a pleasant feeling. I’ve forgotten that your worrying doesn’t stop just because your baby’s been born seemingly normal. There could still be a slew of other problems just lurking around the corner.

I began searching again in earnest to see if I could find the cause of what might be wrong with our daughter. The doctor had mentioned that Caitlyn might have a mild case of hypertonia, which is a condition marked by an abnormal increase in muscle tension, resulting in a baby who’s constantly stiff and rigid.

Hypertonia is also sometimes linked to spastic cerebral palsy, a disorder of movement and coordination. In spastic cerebral palsy, a brain abnormality sends signals to the body that overactivate certain muscle groups. The most common treatment is physical therapy, which loosens and stretches the tight, overactive muscles. Obviously, this is the worst-case scenario and hopefully things won’t pan out that way, but it’s hard not to think about it.

Luckily, I get a half-day off at work today and am able to accompany the wife to the hospital. The doctor examines Caitlyn and says that while her muscles may be a little tense, it doesn't seem to be out of the normal range for babies. She doesn’t see much to be concerned about and says that our baby doesn't have hypertonia.

I’m about to sigh a breath of relief when she checks Caitlyn’s bottom, near her coccyx bone, and notes that there’s a slight indention there, which maybe, could indicate some motor problems. Oh, for Pete’s sake!! Come on!! Give me a break!! Is there or isn’t there a problem?! I hate these wishy-washy answers. To be on the safe side, she gives the go-ahead to schedule an ultrasound for next Thursday. Sigh, another long week of sitting around and worrying.

However, one positive thing to come out of all of this so far is that it really puts things into perspective as to what’s important and what’s not. Before, Jessie would constantly fret about whether or not our baby would ever develop double (folded) eyelids or not. That seems pretty petty now. All I want is my daughter to be happy and healthy. Nothing more, nothing less. Double eyelids be damned!

Happily sitting in her Bebe Pod

BIG foot!

Peek-a-boo! I see you!

Caitlyn finally lets Grandma hold her!

Looking at Grandma

Hanging out in the park

Birthday Mishap

Everyone usually fumbles the ball a few times in life. I just happen to do it more often than others. This became apparent Friday night, when after a week of bottling her true feelings in, Jessie let loose and told me how disappointed she was in her birthday and wedding anniversary presents. This in turn led to other complaints that had been simmering for awhile under the surface, and thus, we had a classic 12-round slugfest that left me KO’ed for the rest of the weekend.

It’s not that the wife was expecting anything grand or expensive; she just felt that the scrapbook pages were more so directed at our daughter than at her. Also, this being her birthday and wedding anniversary all rolled into one, the gifts seemed a bit anti-climactic. An opinion that was supported by many of her friends when told what she had gotten for her surprise.

I guess I hadn’t really looked at it from that perspective before. At the time, I took her comments rather personally because of all the time and effort it took me to create them. But in retrospect, I do suppose that those surprises would have been better suited for Caitlyn than the wife. And I suppose it didn’t help that I didn’t buy a real birthday card, but instead, printed one out in front of her face. That was a rather big no-no.

I love the element of surprise and I love giving surprises. However, when you’re married and have a baby, you’re more or less tied down to the home. It’s kind of hard to prepare a surprise without being noticed. That’s one of the reasons I decided to make scrapbook pages in the first place. Because it was something that I could do at work, away from the prying eyes of the wife.

Initially, I wanted to give the wife a nice gift package for some spa and massage treatments along with the scrapbook pages because I knew how tired she was from taking care of the baby. But going out in search of a beauty spa and being discrete about it seemed a bit difficult. Jessie would know immediately that I was up to something. I couldn’t think of a believable enough excuse to leave the house without arousing suspicion. And once I started working on those scrapbook pages, the spa treatments took a backseat, and I soon forgot all about them.

Birthdays and other important celebrations also usually don’t go down the way you envision when you’re married with a baby. For Jessie’s birthday, we took Caitlyn to the doctor to get her shots after I got off of work, bought take-home food, and got a random dessert on the way back home since all birthday cakes were sold out. Not exactly an amazing way to celebrate one of the most important days of the year.

In order for me to try and make up for my missteps, I stole away Sunday morning and went to get a beauty spa gift package with enough credit to last at least 2 years, a real cake, a steak lunch, and an actual card. I knew, of course, that it was too late to try and fix the past, but not trying to fix your mistakes seemed worse, even though I knew the wife would just get more exasperated at my feeble peace offering.

It has always been my belief that your actions, if well-intentioned, are always more important than whether or not the results turn out the way you expect it to. I’m not sure if the wife really bought into my philosophy, but towards the end of Sunday, she did seem to forgive me a bit. If not, we probably wouldn’t have made sweet, sweet lovin’!

Sitting on her Bebe pod

Getting a major head workout

 Playing with Caitlyn's feet