Baby Acne

Saturday, June 25, 2011. 11:55 p.m. Mark it down, folks! That’s the date and time that Jessie finally admitted that using the 5 S’s actually works. After seeing me repeatedly calm Caitlyn during each feeding, she had no choice but to deem me a magic man for being able to calm our baby so quickly. Sure, I might be getting lightheaded every time I start doing my shushing, but if it earns me a little respect around here and gets the baby to stop crying, I’m all for it. No pain, no gain.

Jessie’s milk supply has slowly increased to 70 ml. Yippee! If the current rate of change holds, we’ll be up to 200 ml in no time. She’s been trying all sorts of remedies to help her body produce more milk. Pork feet soup, fish soup, cherries, organic tea, sesame paste, etc. Maybe one of these is responsible for the increase. But in the end, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just plain ol’ nature taking its course.

If you look at recent photos of our daughter, you more or less get an idea of what I looked like in high school. Instead of being Edward Scissorhands in high school, I was Edward Pimpleface. Heck, I still get the occasional pimple more often than not. Sometimes, I’m happy about it because I feel like I’m still young. But other times, I’m not happy about it because of the stares I get when I have one on my nose. Thankfully, babies are blissfully ignorant of their less-than-perfect complexion.

Baby acne is fairly common in babies. It’s caused by hormones that are passed from the mother, through the placenta, to the baby right before birth. These hormones stimulate oil glands in the baby’s skin, which give rise to the acne. It usually occurs on the cheeks, forehead, chin, and back. The acne typically appears at 3 to 6 weeks of age and will usually disappear on its own within a few weeks. No need for Clearasil or Oxy pads. A good wash with warm water and mild soap to keep the face clean will do.

These facts and statistics don’t help ease Jessie’s mind because she’s comparing our baby with the other babies in the postpartum clinic, which all have silky smooth skin. She’s probably thinking about how the other babies will mercilessly tease and torment our daughter à la Mean Girls when they grow up, and how she’ll never get a date to a dance. I know that exact feeling all too well. I tell her to wait another week or so. The other babies will join the acne club soon enough.

The 5 S's

With Caitlyn being as fussy as ever, I figured it was time I stepped in and tried to do something about it. One of the books I’m currently reading is The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. In this book, he explains 5 steps to soothing a baby: swaddling, side, shushing, swinging, and sucking (the 5 S’s).

Swaddling 
The first ‘S’ is swaddling. As I begin to tell her about the first step, it’s obvious we’re going to be butting heads quite a bit. She thinks swaddling is a discomfort for the baby and should be ditched sooner than later. I beg to differ. Swaddling creates a comfort for babies who are used to being in the confined space of the uterus.

Jessie argues that when a baby flails her arms, it’s proof she doesn’t want or need to be swaddled and interferes with the baby’s ability to learn about the world. On the contrary, flailing arms just make the baby become over-stimulated. It’s not a cry to be free. Also, nobody is saying to swaddle a baby 24 hours a day. Obviously, there should be time for the baby to freely explore her surroundings free of the swaddle.

You can’t think like an adult here. Obviously, as adults, we wouldn’t want to be wrapped up like a burrito. We want our freedom. But babies are different. Swaddling soothes them and isn’t uncomfortable.

Side or Stomach 
The second ‘S’ is side or stomach. In other words, putting the baby on her side or stomach when she starts to become fussy. This position helps to simulate the baby’s position in the uterus. Putting a baby on her back when she’s fussy triggers what is known as the Moro reflex, where the baby feels like she’s falling. It will only cause her to become even more upset. Jessie is OK with the second ‘S’.

Shushing 
The third ‘S’ is shushing. Most people don’t realize this, but it’s noisy in the uterus. The sound of blood flowing through arteries and veins has been compared to the sound of a vacuum cleaner. That’s loud! Silence is something that is strange for a newborn baby. This is why most experts will say that having some sort of white noise in the background can help soothe a baby.

I’m not saying to scream into a baby’s ear, but your shushing should be loud enough to get her attention in order to calm her down. As a result, Jessie’s barely audible “shhhs” aren’t cutting it. Jessie has a hard time swallowing this fact, thinking that anything louder than a whisper will damage a baby’s ear. I don’t blame her. This seemingly goes against common sense. But again, we have to think like a baby, not a grown person.

Swinging 
The fourth ‘S’ is swinging. Jiggling and swinging a baby helps simulate what the baby felt when she was in the uterus. For fussier babies, the swinging and jiggling should be more pronounced and rapid. I’m not saying to shake the baby with all your might, but it needs to be more than just a slight nudge. Babies are more resilient than most people think. They’re not wafer-thin beings that crumble at the slightest touch.

If you’ve ever seen how a nurse handles a baby, then you know what I mean. They’re not exactly gentle with the baby. Babies need people to handle them with a firm, strong confidence. Not someone who holds them like they’re holding something fragile. Jessie’s wary about this step. Knowing how rough I can be when I handle things, she’s worried that I might swing the baby right out of my arms.

Sucking 

The final ‘S’ is sucking, as in sucking on a nipple or pacifier. This helps turn on a baby’s calming reflex. While they’re still in the uterus, babies are already sucking on their fingers. It’s only because they have poor muscle coordination once they’re born that they can’t do it. That’s where a nipple or pacifier comes in handy. Thankfully, Jessie’s nipples have recovered from the beating they took the first week and should be up to the challenge.

Now that you've learned a bit about the 5 S's, I know the question you’re probably thinking is, “Sure, the 5 S’s sounds all handy dandy, but does it work?” Jessie is my number one skeptic and has her doubts. She’s annoyed that after reading a book, I’m walking around like I know exactly what to do.

First of all, I never said calming a baby is easy. Talking and actually doing are two completely different things. I’ll be the first to admit that I may need some time before I perfect the technique. After all, practice makes perfect. Also, every baby is different. There is no one size fits all technique in my opinion. Everything can and should be modified to fit your baby’s personality and situation.

But back to the aforementioned question, from the times that I have handled Caitlyn and used the 5 S’s, they’ve actually worked. That’s right, they worked! In your face, sucka!! You can start addressing me as the Baby Whisperer, now.

Trying to grasp for reasons as to why I could get Caitlyn to calm down when she couldn’t, Jessie’s excuses ranged from Caitlyn being full from eating to Caitlyn being sleepy to Caitlyn not having one of her fussier fits. Either way, it seems the only way to make Jessie into a believer is for me to take Caitlyn and keep her calm the entire day all by myself. So be it. I say, bring it!!

 

Here’s a perfect example of what the technique looks like when it’s all put together. Like Jessie said when I showed her, “It’s magic!” Exactly. Magic.

Sitting for a Month

In Taiwan, as well as other Asian countries, after a woman gives birth, she usually does something called “zhuo yue zhi.” Literally, it means “sitting for a month.” In a nutshell, the woman spends a month resting and recovering her body. While some women will do this in the comfort of their own home, many others, like my wife, will go to a special postpartum care center.

At the postpartum care center that Jessie is staying at, a staff of nurses helps to take of Caitlyn. Think of it as staying at a hotel with a 24-hour babysitting service. They bathe and change the baby for you. When it’s time to feed the baby, they call your room, and you go to pick up her up. When the baby’s done feeding, she goes back to the nurses. If Jessie’s unable to complete the feeding, the nurses will help bottle feed the baby for you. A doctor also comes in twice a week to check on the health of the baby.

There are also other benefits to staying at a center. Ours has weekly classes that teach the women how to care for themselves and their child. Doctors come in as guest lecturers, and you can ask them any questions you might have. Specially prepared medicinal meals are also given to help the body recover faster.

While I’m all for this practice of “zuo yue zhi,” there are things that do need some minor tweaking. For instance, there’s a belief that you shouldn’t bathe, shower, or wash your hair for the month that you’re resting. It’s thought that doing so might increase the chances of catching a cold since your immune system is probably in a weakened state after giving birth.

I can understand this, but for a whole month? Come on! I mean, once, I went a week without showering or changing underwear just to see if I could do it. But this, this is just borderline barbaric. Jessie broke down within a few days and went to get her hair washed despite being advised not to. And she showered soon after that. I figure, as long as you’re not taking a shower in freezing water and then skipping around the room naked and sopping wet, there really shouldn’t be a problem.

Women are also encouraged to not leave the house and do nothing besides stay in bed and nurse. Again, I can understand this belief, as a woman needs time for her birth canal to heal. If she is constantly walking around, it only increases the amount of time needed to recover.

This one’s nearly driven Jessie insane. No matter how hard I try to get her to lie down, she seems to constantly be finding something that she needs to do. And because she’s walking around so much, she’s still in a lot of pain. But while resting is good, I think there also needs to be a balance for walking and receiving fresh air. Being bed-ridden for a whole month can’t be too healthy for the body.

Although most people in the Western world might think the custom of “zuo yue zhi” a bit strange, I personally think it’s a good idea, minus the no showering and staying all day in bed part. This is in stark contrast to America, where once you leave the hospital, you’re on your own to fend for yourself. You can’t expect to take care of your baby if you aren’t taking care of yourself first. Jessie will be the first to attest to that. 

Jessie's room for a month

Getting some rest before feeding time

A typical meal

Yummy in my tummy

Jessie's mom and my dad

Looking at his granddaughter

Like Mother, Like Daughter

It’s now been 12 days since the birth of Caitlyn. 3 days have been spent in the hospital and the other 9 days at a “yue zhi zhong xing.” (More on that in the next post.) How are things progressing, you ask? Well, Jessie has increased her milk output from 2 drops up to 30 ml. Boo-yah!

I was completely psyched about this until I found out that some moms were pumping out over 200 ml each sitting. 200 ml?! Are you kidding me?! It almost doesn’t seem fair. But I’m not letting that get us down. I’m still taking comfort in our small victories.

Feeding time has become more routine, with Caitlyn feeding every 4 hours or so. But it’s also become a power struggle. Because Jessie still isn’t producing enough milk, Caitlyn isn’t able to gain access to the milk as quickly as she’d like to.

To protest, Caitlyn will go into a tantrum, shaking her head and hands violently, and refusing to take Jessie’s nipple back in, all while crying at the top of her lungs until her face literally turns dark, dark red. It’s rather frightening. This usually leaves Jessie defeated and dispirited. This in turn, leaves innocent, little me bearing the unfortunate brunt of her frustration.

On top of this, Caitlyn has lately been waking up at all hours and causing a ruckus for no apparent reasons. The nurses on staff have already labeled her as having an extremely “strong” personality. Trying to find an explanation for this, Jessie said it was because I sang too loudly to the baby one night, and that she hasn’t quite recovered from it yet. She’ll try to use this as a guilt trip any time she’s had a rough time calming Caitlyn down.

Unless I was screaming into her ear, which I wasn’t, I somehow doubt the volume of my singing had any impact on our baby. Perhaps it just seemed loud to Jessie because while she tends to prefer humming lullabies softly to Caitlyn, I favor a hearty rendition of my favorite children’s song, “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.” If anything, it’s probably my off-note singing that does more harm than good to Caitlyn.

But now, Jessie seems to finally be coming to the realization that our baby’s personality mirrors her own. Her own family members are all in agreement that Caitlyn’s impatience and quick temper is just like hers. Even she can’t argue with that. Unfortunately for us, that means we’re going to have our hands full these next few years.

With the origin of Caitlyn’s temperament firmly established, the question now turns to, who does she look like? Personally, I tend to disregard people’s comments when they say a baby looks like so and so. Seriously, can you really tell who a baby looks like when they’re that young?

I mean, if you’ve never seen my baby before and I gave you a line-up of babies, could you pick out which one was mine? I’m guessing the odds probably aren’t in your favor. I’m not saying all babies look the same, because they do look different from one another, but I think for the most part, they’re still too young to resemble anyone.

If you want to claim that our baby’s ears or mouth looks like mine, then you’re going to have to say that 10 other babies in the nursery with her have body parts that look like mine too. And I’ve got at least one supporter on my side.

Mom: Look at Caitlyn’s eyebrows. They look just like Ed’s.
Dad: Are you crazy? What are you talking about? All the babies look the same here!

Yeah! You tell her daddy!

These are the alleged body parts that people say look either like Jessie or me.

Baby Blues

One thing I’ve been looking forward to ever since Jessie became pregnant, besides the birth of my daughter, is Jessie returning back to Jessie. I’m ready to say goodbye to the cranky and snappy Jessie.

I figured after giving birth, Jessie’s hormones might return back to a somewhat normal level. However, she’s still as easily irritated as ever and has her highs and lows throughout the day. Silly me. How could I forget about the post-partum blues?

During pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone increase in a woman’s body. After giving birth, those levels, along with others drop steeply within the first 72 hours. At this time, the body responds to those changes, as it tries to re-balance itself again.

Women feel a roller-coaster of emotions ranging from happiness, sadness, anxiety, irritability, and frustration. One minute, Jessie’s telling me what an awesome dad I’ve been thus far, and the next, she’s yelling that I’m the biggest loser of a dad this world has ever seen. Confusing as that may be, it’s completely normal.

For some women, these mood swings end after 3 days. For others, it usually leads to the post-partum blues, which lasts around 4 to 9 days or up to a month or more of roughly the same symptoms. 60 to 80% of women experience post-partum blues. But only 13 to 15% will experience a severe condition of post-partum blues, known as post-partum depression.

As far as Jessie’s mood swings are concerned, I know the hormonal imbalance, the stress of not having enough milk, and obviously, a huge helping of yours truly all play a role in how she’s feeling. I don’t purposely go out of my way to annoy or get Jessie mad, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve got a real knack of doing it. So, the million dollar question is, “What can you do to survive the postpartum blues?”

Most experts agree that the most important thing you can do is to listen to what your wife has to say. OK, that makes sense. I understand that the wife has a lot of pent up frustration that she needs to get off her chest. When she complains about something, I should just listen, not talk. Sometimes, all a woman needs is a good bosom buddy to vent to, right?

But I’m not sure I’m the best person for this job. Jessie’s biggest complaint is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand what it’s like to carry a baby around in my tummy for 9 months, I don’t understand what it’s like to give birth, and I don’t understand what it’s like having to deal with a crying baby 24 hours a day. In her opinion, why should she bother talking to someone who doesn’t know and doesn’t relate to what she’s going through?

A lot of times, I also feel like whatever she’s annoyed at or complaining about is my fault. Of course, the majority of the time, it probably is my fault and I will apologize. Being a man, it’s wired in me to go and fix whatever the wife is unhappy about. And as with most men, the harder I try to fix something, the worse the situation gets. But just sitting on my bottom and not taking action doesn’t seem right either.

Since most of what she says is directed at me, and since they tend to be low blows, I take them pretty personally. I know I should cut the wife some slack, but I can’t help it. I’m a Pisces. Whenever the wife lashes out, I find myself becoming defensive. I’ve got my own take on whatever is making her upset and usually, it’s the polar opposite of whatever she’s thinking.

What I need to do is constantly remind myself that most of Jessie’s overreactions are beyond her control, and she probably doesn’t mean the things she says. Well, at least I hope she doesn’t mean them.

I’m sure months from now, she won’t even remember half the things she’s said. I just need to grin and bear it and keep doing what I should be doing without fumbling too much. Things have their own way of working themselves out.

Me: I’ve been really good thus far today! Haven’t even bothered you. Aren’t you proud of me?
Jessie: Uh, the day hasn’t even begun.
Me: Sure it has. I’ve been up for 30 minutes already.
Jessie: Wow, you really know how to aim high.
Me: It’s all about the baby steps.

 

 

 

 

The Defense Rests

I would have posted, in the last entry, pictures of the painful expressions that Jessie has when she’s breastfeeding, but I had been advised not to even think about it. Physical violence, including broken legs and arms would soon follow if I did.

I’ve been getting a lot of heat from Jessie lately over the pictures I’ve been posting. She says she has no make-up, is fat, looks ugly, etc….According to her, I’m just having a good laugh at her expense. Well, I beg to differ! And I’m here to state my case.

What I’m doing is accurately capturing the true essence of what a woman goes through during and after pregnancy. Is that not a noble cause? If I followed her guideline of not taking any pictures unless she’s got make-up on, is dressed-up nicely, is in a good mood, and looks picture perfect, there would be absolutely no pictures to look fondly back upon years from now.

Why would you want to fool yourself and others into thinking pregnancy is a glamorous experience? It’s not. Pregnancy is a punishing ordeal. No one expects you to look your best. Take it as a badge of honor.

If Mother Nature intended pregnant women to look like they were entering a beauty pageant, then she would have done so. But she didn’t. And besides, I think you look beautiful! Make-up or no make-up. Big belly or flat belly. Nice clothes or tattered clothes. You are and will always be the loveliest person to me! Is that not enough for you?

I rest my case. 

Here’s a picture that received Jessie’s stamp of approval (probably because she's not in it). After spending an hour diligently squeezing her breasts, this is how much she was able to extract. Two sips is better than no sip, right?

The Problem with Breastfeeding

It’s approximately 5 days now since Caitlyn has been born. Being a father has been everything I've expected. The lack of sleep, the constant crying, and the overwhelming happiness I feel when my daughter looks at me.

However, there has been a minor bump in our journey thus far – breastfeeding. Jessie and I have talked about how we want to try to breastfeed baby Caitlyn for at least 6 months, if not longer, but the road leading there is looking pretty bleak.

The first night that the nurse brought Caitlyn back to us, Jessie tried breastfeeding. It was awkward and we both struggled to find a suitable position for her and Caitlyn. Getting her to latch on to Jessie’s nipple was another problem.

To prevent myself from getting frustrated, I made breastfeeding time into a game. I pretended Caitlyn’s mouth was a space shuttle and I was the commander trying to dock with the International Space Station (Jessie’s nipple). Precision and key-timing are the most important factors in both cases.

In the end, Caitlyn really didn’t want anything to do with breastfeeding or space shuttles. I was fine with that, since I knew a lot of newborn babies are more interested in sleeping than feeding.

However, Caitlyn soon took the art of sleeping to a whole other level. It earned her the nickname, “Sleeping Beauty,” from the nurses. She wasn’t to be bothered with feeding. And the longer it dragged on, the more concerned we got. We’d wake her up, get her to take a few licks, and then she’d fall right back asleep with the nipple still in her mouth.

It wasn’t until the third day that she finally came around to being hungry. Every time Caitlyn started crying, I’d run through the usual list of possible things that might be making her cry: wet diapers, insecurity, being uncomfortable, and of course, hunger. When there were no dirty diapers and rocking her didn’t work, I’d tell Jessie that Caitlyn was probably hungry and that it was time to breastfeed.

After a few times of going through the list, and always coming up with hunger as the cause, I eventually jumped straight to breastfeeding as a way to soothe her crying. Jessie and her nipples did not take too kindly to this.

To Jessie’s dismay, Caitlyn’s been devouring her nipples like there is no tomorrow. After just a few feedings, her nipples are already cracked, bleeding, and begging for mercy. To add insult to injury, all of this is caused by a helpless, toothless baby. If they could only engineer a formula that’s exactly like breast milk, then we could save millions upon millions of nipples from suffering the same fate as Jessie’s.

Whenever I’d hand Caitlyn over to her, she’d have a look in her eyes like she wanted to stab me in the face. Look, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just doing my job and telling you what our daughter needs.

Jessie: It’s not fair that you get to sit there and relax while I’m in pain. You have no idea what I’m feeling and going through right now.
Me: Well, what would you have me do? I can pinch my nipples really hard if you’d like. Then, perhaps we can share in this pain together.

With Caitlyn's increasing appetite, supply was not keeping up with demand. We didn’t know if Jessie’s breasts were producing enough milk, if any, or how much Caitlyn was actually taking in. Last night, we tried pumping her breasts with an electric breast pump and a hand-operated pump, but neither one had much of an affect. In the end, all we had was a crying, hungry baby, and an extremely frustrated Jessie.

Eventually, the doctor decided that we should supplement Jessie’s breast milk with a bottled formula to make sure Caitlyn was getting enough. Normally, this is not a good idea because feeding from a bottle is a lot less work for a baby and can cause her to become too lazy to suck on an actual nipple. Formulas are also sweet, which can cause a baby to prefer it over breast milk. But we were left with no other real alternative. It’s either starve the baby or give her formula.

This morning, Jessie finally broke down and started crying after another failed feeding. The pressure and stress from trying to succeed at breastfeeding has finally gotten to her. I tell her not to give up and to remain strong. Caitlyn and I haven’t given up hope yet. Typically, as long as there’s a demand, the supply will follow. Maybe Jessie’s supply just got held-up in a traffic jam.

Keep your head up and don’t lose hope!

Breastfeed first

Then bottle

Don't stop feeding!

Keep up the good work, Mommy!

Birth Story

I'm going to assume most people don't want to read through a long, boring post. If that includes you, click HERE to jump straight to the pictures!

June 7, 11:45 a.m. – We arrive at the hospital. I prepare myself for another rejection.

12:30 p.m. – The doctor takes a look at Jessie. Contractions still aren’t where they need to be, but her cervix has dilated to almost 4 cm. He takes pity on us and admits us into the hospital. Third time’s the charm. Victory at last!

1:00 p.m. – After an ultrasound and a blood and urine sample, Jessie is wheeled into the waiting room where she’ll be until the second stage of labor. Then she’ll go into the delivery room for the final hurrah.

1:45 p.m. – Jessie: Can I get an epidural now?
Nurse: Well, your blood test hasn’t come back yet. We usually wait for that before deciding whether or not it’s safe to proceed.
Jessie: That’s nice. So, I’m getting the epidural now, right?
Nurse: Uhh…not exactly.
Jessie: I was promised a freaking epidural! Now give it to me!
Nurse: Like I said, we’re still waiting for the results of your blood test.
Jessie: Where’s my epidural?! How long before I get it?!
Nurse: Results should be back in about an hour.
Jessie: No! I was promised an epidural when I first got here. You lied!
Nurse: I’ll see what we can do.
Jessie: Give me my epidural! Baby, make them give it to me!
Me: (Menacingly shaking a fist at the nurse) Give my wife her epidural or else! Grr…!
Me: How was that?
Jessie: (Cries softly)

2:30 p.m. – Cervix has now dilated to almost 8 cm. The nurse says that since Jessie is so close to giving birth, there may be no need for an epidural. Wrong thing to say, buddy. Wrong thing to say.

Jessie: GIVE ME MY F***ING EPIDURAL!!!

3:00 p.m. – No blood result yet = A very angry, upset, annoyed, mad, livid, irate, aggravated, pissed-off Jessie.

3:30 p.m. – I’m hoping that the blood result never comes. If that happens, then Jessie won’t get her epidural. Everyone is in agreement that she shouldn't use it at this point. Everyone except for Jessie, of course. To calm her down, we used some stalling techniques.

Jessie’s Mom: Well, I just went to talk to the nurse. She said the results should be coming soon. (She was really outside talking on the phone.)

Me: Don’t worry honey. Look, your mom’s going out to tell the nurse to hurry up with the results. (She was really going to the bathroom.)

Me: Ok, I just talked to the doctor. He said the results should be here in 10 minutes. (Yea, right.)

My mom: What’s that? I think I hear them coming down the hall with your epidural! (There’s silence in the hallway.)

Jessie: Liars! You’re all liars!!!

3:45 p.m. – Water breaks. No epic Noah’s flood here. Just a little stream.

4:00 p.m. – Results from the blood tests are finally in. Jessie’s cleared to have an epidural if she wants one. The doctor is still recommending that she doesn’t use it as she’s close to birth and the epidural could slow down the process. His words barely register with her. She’s getting that epidural.

4:20 p.m. – The nurses finish setting up the epidural. If Jessie had seen the size of the needle they used and the way they inserted it into her, she probably would have never wanted it in the first place. The drug has an immediate effect on Jessie as she falls strangely silent and is seemingly at peace.

4:30 p.m. – A nurse comes to check how Jessie’s cervix is doing. It’s almost at 10 cm.

4:45 pm. – A nurse comes in to ask when Jessie last peed. Jessie has no idea. Oooh!! Oooh!! I know!! A quick glance in my notebook reveals the answer – 1 o’clock. I knew all my note taking would come in handy.

4:50 p.m. – Another nurse comes in and asks when Jessie started using the epidural. The nurse that’s attending to Jessie doesn’t know. Oh, but I do Alex Trebek! For $500, what is, 4:30 p.m.?

5:10 p.m. – With Jessie's cervix completely dilated, the nurse teaches her how to push by pulling her legs towards her chest with her hands. This will help move the baby down the birth canal. Every time she has a contraction, she’s to do this movement. She’s to do this until we see a quarter-sized piece of the head peeking out. Only then can she move into the delivery room.

5:20 p.m. – Jessie’s mom, my mom, and I have all joined in on the campaign to get Jessie to the delivery room. I’m pulling Jessie’s shoulders up and Jessie’s mom and my mom have a leg each that they’re pulling on to help her.

In between each contraction, Jessie’s legs have started to go into spasms because of the energy that she’s exerting. Therefore, we begin massaging Jessie’s body and giving her words of encouragement while she’s resting. She’s a prize fighter and we’re her cornermen. Let’s get it on!

We're working just as hard as Jessie is. And to make matters worse, the nurse comes and turns off the epidural. Uh-oh. Angry Jessie is going to be back on the prowl soon. Muhammad Ali is about to turn into Mike Tyson.

6:05 p.m. – The doctor comes to see how far along Jessie is in pushing. She’s still got a bit of pushing to do before she’s ready for the delivery room. Jessie explains to him that pain is beginning to creep back into her body, but if the doctor were to give her another epidural injection, well, she could probably push that baby out in 10 seconds flat. I’m not too surprised that he didn’t fall for that one.

I don’t think Jessie should be using it anymore and I voice my opinion. I just tune out her cursing and say that we should wait and see how she feels in a bit before making any decisions. Maybe she can make it without the epidural. The doctor seconds my opinion. Oh yea! I’m finally getting some due credit around here.

However, all that is overruled when a nurse comes in later and Jessie convinces her to turn on the epidural again.

7:10 p.m. – Jessie’s still diligently pushing at each contraction but the little bugger doesn’t seem to want to budge. Team Jessie is completely spent from helping her push, but we keep at it.

7:25 p.m. – Jessie asks the nurse to up the dosage of her epidural injection. Come on! Did you think labor was supposed to be a pain free experience? This isn’t supposed to be a trip to the country club. There’s no such thing as a free ride.

7:45 p.m. – A nurse comes in to turn off the epidural again. Jessie puts up a fit. The nurse says it’s causing Jessie’s labor to slow down. We’re all begging Jessie to suck it up while she enters into the home stretch, but she’s hooked. Finally, the nurse has had enough of Jessie’s shenanigans, ignores her pleas, and turns off the machine.

8:00 p.m. – The fear of prolonged pain must have jumpstarted Jessie’s willpower, as she begins pushing enthusiastically again, and by the time 8 o’clock rolls around, it’s decided that she can go into the delivery room.

8:10 p.m. – Finally, this is the scene that you always see in movies. Jessie’s sitting in the seat with her legs up on the stirrups and the doctor’s at the bottom awaiting the baby. However, the movies have left one part out. There’s a nurse that’s using her forearm to physically help push the baby down and out of Jessie. It’s not a light push either. She’s bearing her entire weight onto Jessie’s poor belly. I expect to see the baby come flying out.

8:18 p.m. – Caitlyn Olivia Wu enters into the world! She weighs in at a healthy 3,416 grams. She’s got five finger on each hand, five toes on each foot, and no tail. In other words, she’s perfect!

8:30 p.m. – The placenta follows shortly after Caitlyn Olivia.

Jessie: Where are you going?
Me: I’m going to take a picture of our alien baby.
Doctor: What alien baby? There’s no alien baby here.
Me: Yea, there is.
Doctor: Where?
Me: Over there! The placenta!
Doctor and nurses: ….
Jessie: Just ignore him.

June 8, 1:00 a.m. – Now that labor is over and done with, and we’ve finally settled down in our recovery room, I can finally reflect back on everything that’s transpired. It’s been a grueling 24 hours of labor. I can happily say that Jessie and I survived the ordeal with flying colors.

Somehow, I never thought labor was going to be like this. I figured I’d be standing at Jessie’s side with camera in hand, politely cheering her on while she’s doing all the work.

Never did I think I would see every graphic detail that took place. I always thought everything would be pristinely covered by towels and curtains, but everything was laid bare to see.

If you like blood and guts and all things that come with it (that would be me), labor surely does not disappoint. This was like watching an unrated version of the Discovery channel. I found everything surprisingly interesting. Here was everything that I had been reading about in my baby books, brought to life.

With this out of the way, the next challenge awaits us – being parents! This one could slightly be more imposing and intimidating. And it begins in about an hour when the nurse brings baby Caitlyn into our room to breastfeed!

First moment together

Tired baby

Family photo

Cry baby

 

Proud grandparents

All cleaned up

Still Waiting...

June 6, 8:00 p.m. – Regular contractions start. They last approximately one minute and are 10 minutes apart.

June 7, 1:00 a.m. – Jessie’s had about all that she can stand of her never-ending contractions and wants to go to the hospital. I tell her the contractions are still too far apart, but she could care less. She calls the hospital, but they tell her the same thing – to stay home and wait.

If anything, Jessie’s one persistent son of a gun. The hospital could tell her to stay home 99 times, but she’d still make that hundredth call, just in case.

Jessie: These contractions are f***ing painful!
Me: Well, don’t forget what your mom said. “You haven’t even begun to experience pain yet.”

(Jessie reaches over and slaps husband across the face.)

2:30 a.m. – Contractions are still lasting approximately one minute in length, but are now 7 minutes apart. Jessie says she’s ready to go to the hospital. I tell her that her contractions aren’t 5 minutes apart yet.

She should follow the 5-1-1 guideline. Contractions that are 5 minutes apart, 1 minute each time, for one hour. There’s a reason it’s not called the 10-1-1 or 7-1-1 guideline. She gets angry when I say this and stomps/waddles off.

3:20 a.m. – Contractions are lasting one minute and are 5 minutes and 30 seconds apart. That’s close enough for Jessie. She gets her things ready and we’re off to the hospital.

4:45 a.m. – The doctor comes in to inspect Jessie. Apparently, contractions that are 5 minutes apart aren’t good enough. For first time mothers, they should be about 3 minutes apart. Her cervix has also only dilated about 2 cm. The doctor says it should be about 4 cm when she’s admitted to the hospital. To Jessie’s dismay, it’s time to head on back home.

Doctor: On a scale of one to ten, one being pain that’s hardly felt, and ten being pain that makes you want to jump off the roof of a building, what would you rate your pain?
Jessie: Maybe a 7 or 8.

7 or 8?!! This is only the Early Phase of labor! This is supposed to be tiddlywinks compared to the Transition Phase. I think the doctor’s going to have to make a completely new pain scale just for Jessie.

10:15 a.m. – Contractions are lasting a little over a minute, but have now become 6 minutes and 30 seconds apart. Jessie seems to have lost all hope that this will end any time soon. As far as she’s concerned, this is hell and she’s eternally damned to be tormented by these contractions.

11:00 a.m. – Jessie’s mom comes over to check on her. She and my mom are in agreement that Jessie should go to the hospital. Jessie is more than happy to oblige. My argument about how the doctor said to wait until contractions are 3 minutes apart, fall on deaf ears. They’ve out-voted me, 3 to 1.

Considering the fact that the wife didn’t sleep at all last night and has painful contractions every few minutes or so, I'm surprised that she’s held up this long. For someone with an extremely low threshold for pain, she’s doing admiringly well.

Sure, she did look crazily into my eyes more than a few times telling me that she wanted to end this now and get a C-section instead, but thus far, she hasn’t backed up her words. I don’t know if she can maintain this kind of willpower in the later phases and stages of labor, but I’m in your corner!

Now, back to the hospital!

The Pre-Game Show

Apparently, there was some confusion over the title I chose for my previous post. Some readers thought that it was a post about baby Caitlyn being born. I apologize for making you read through the whole thing before realizing there was no grand finale.

When Jessie does go into actual labor and does give birth, I shall use the non-confusing titles, “Jessie is in Labor,” and “Baby Caitlyn has been Born.” There won’t be any half-guesses as to what those posts will be about.

To make it up to any of those who felt cheated out of their time, I’m putting up a picture of Jessie with our newly installed cowmooflage car seat. The picture was taken after we went out for a short walk. I was surprised she offered very little resistance when I told her to pose with the car seat. Maybe she was tired and figured it would just be easier to comply with me so she could get some air conditioning quicker, or maybe she’s starting to enjoy being the center of attention!

Before trying to install it, I was extremely worried about the task because I had read countless numbers of posts about how confusing and difficult it is to install a car seat. Even a quick flip through the lengthy and wordy user manual made me lose whatever enthusiasm I had started out with. But thankfully, installing the car seat was actually pretty easy. I have to admit I did a pretty good job of it. That thing isn’t budging an inch.

Now that apologies are out of the way, I was awaken again by Jessie this morning at 4 am. She’s having contractions and has been timing them with a contraction app I downloaded for her on the iPhone. I take a look at them and they seem to be more legitimate than her 15 minute contractions that she was having last night. These are lasting around 40-50 seconds and are roughly spaced 10 minutes apart.

However, I’m still not convinced we need to be rushing over to the hospital as she’s wanting to do. I believe she’s having Braxton Hicks contractions. These contractions usually precede actual contractions and the purpose of them is to help prepare the body for labor. Many people call Braxton Hicks contractions, “false” labor contractions because they lead many women, such as the wife, to think they’re going into actual labor.

To make sure, I ask her to walk around while she’s having one of her contractions. Her pain lessens. True labor pain won’t be shrugged off so easily. Jessie’s contractions are also felt primarily in her abdominal region. True labor contractions generally start in the lower back and move to the front of the abdomen. All these increase the likelihood that Jessie’s having Braxton Hicks contractions.

I tell her my opinion about how she’s experiencing a false labor, and it doesn’t sit well with her. She angrily says I’m not her and don’t know what she’s feeling. Yes, that is true. But that might be a good thing because someone needs to be the rational, level-headed one here.

I tell her to keep recording her contractions. As each hour passes by, the contractions become shorter and more time elapses between each one. Looks like we’ve got some more waiting to do before actual labor arrives.

Jessie: Oh, these contractions are painful! Now I know what pain is.
Mom: Uh, you haven’t even begun to experience pain yet.
Jessie: ….

It's Show Time!

Yesterday night, around 11 pm, Jessie nudges me out of sleep and says that blood came out while she was going to the bathroom. This wakes me up immediately, and I rush into the bathroom to inspect. Sure enough, inside the toilet, the water is slightly tinged red. I ask if anything else came out, and she said there was a sticky substance when she wiped with a toilet paper.

Thankfully, she didn’t throw this into the toilet and I was able to fish it out of the trashcan. Unfortunately, she had smeared the content by crumpling the toilet paper, but from what I could gather, it was mucus-like and slightly brownish in color. She said there was more of the substance earlier, but had already washed it away.

I told her to leave things exactly the way they were the next time something like this happened. Treat it like a crime scene. After all, if you stumble across a person who’s been murdered in the street, you wouldn’t move the body, mop up all the blood, and throw away his old, blood-stained clothes before calling the police, would you?

She asks what could be the matter, and I said that more than likely, her mucus plug was slowly starting to come out. The mucus plug is mucus that seals the opening of the cervix. It keeps bacteria and infection from entering into the cervix, thus providing a protective barrier for the baby.

As the cervix slowly begins to soften and dilate, the mucus plug comes out. Sometimes, it comes out in one globular mass, and sometimes, it comes out little by little over a period of time, which seems to be the case with Jessie. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes it’s stained brown, pink, or red. This event is also known as the bloody show. But even then, labor could still be days or weeks ahead.

Jessie’s not exactly convinced by what I’m saying and immediately begins getting her bags ready to go to the hospital. She thinks she’s going into labor already. I tell her that unless she’s having contractions lasting 60-90 seconds, every 3 to 5 minutes, she’s not about to have the baby any time soon. But to ease her anxiety, I tell her to call the hospital and ask their opinion. Not surprisingly, the nurse backs up what I’ve just said. Jessie relents and decides to go back to sleep.

About two hours after falling back to sleep, Jessie wakes me up a second time. She’s just gone to the bathroom and there’s blood in the toilet again. I go to inspect and it’s a bit more than previously. There seems to be a bit of mucus discharge in there too, but not much.

Jessie starts telling me that along with the mucus and blood, she has a headache, her stomach is tightening, and that her back hurts. According to her, these are signs that she is about to have the baby. I disagree and say she might be jumping the gun a bit, as these signs seem to be pointing instead to the fact that the early phase of labor might not be too far away.

Once more, she makes the move to get her bags ready. As a precaution, I make her call the hospital again, and the nurse repeats that these symptoms are perfectly normal and there is no need to go to the hospital right now, unless she really wants to get things checked out to ease her mind. Jessie decides to wait it out.

I tell her this is exactly why I wanted to discuss the issue of labor with her. If she doesn’t know what’s going on, she’s just running around like a panicked chicken with its head cut off. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be. Then, Jessie does something I wasn’t expecting. She actually admits I’m right and that she’s sorry. Hallelujah! She’s finally seen the light!

A few hours later, I’m woken again by Jessie telling me there’s more blood and mucus in the toilet. I diligently go look and yup, there surely is more blood and mucus. The bloody show has turned itself into a trilogy.

She proceeds to tell me that she’s having strong contractions and that this could be serious. I ask her how long the contractions are lasting and she says about 15-20 minutes. Woman, no contraction lasts that long! Plus, there’s no way she could be playing with her iPhone and chatting with me if she were having contractions as strong as she claimed.

She doesn’t listen and begins to try timing her so-called contractions. I leave her crazy self be and go back to sleep. She shortly gives up on her hopeless endeavor and goes to sleep too.

In the morning, we go to the hospital to make sure everything is normal. The doctor checks Jessie out and says that the mucus plug is indeed slowly starting to come out. There’s nothing to worry about and Jessie can continue on as she normally does.

To recap: The bloody show is a bit anti-climatic. I was expecting more and thus, was a bit disappointed. If you’re going to label something “the bloody show,” it better well be something that Hostel director, Eli Roth, would be proud of.

Breathing Techniques 101

“Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.”  - Mr. Miyagi

Oh, man. There is just way too much information involving breathing techniques. How hard can breathing be?! Trying to understand and remember some of these breathing techniques is probably just as stressful as having the baby itself. No wonder Jessie wanted me to sort through all this mess for her. Smart. Delegate the hard work to the lowly, underpaid peon.

Breathing shouldn’t be something difficult to grasp. Just like Mr. Miyagi says, breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Simple as ABC. With that in mind, I will try to break things down in the most basic way.

First of all, what is the purpose of breathing techniques during labor? Well, breathing techniques help cope with the pain that you’re experiencing when giving birth. Different techniques during the different stages and phases of labor can help provide focus and put you in control of the situation, as well as making contractions more productive.

However, most experts agree that the main benefit of using breathing techniques is that it ensures the baby is receiving enough oxygen throughout the birthing process and makes sure you don’t become too fatigued.

STAGE ONE:

Early Phase Breathing – During the very first phase of labor, focus on inhaling and exhaling throughout the contractions. Use a cleansing breath before and after each contraction. A cleansing breath is an exaggerated, deep breath done by breathing through the nose and out the mouth. This allows for an increased supply of oxygen and helps to relax you.

Active/Transition Phase Breathing – As contractions begin to intensify, you can begin to take quicker, shallower breaths. As the contraction peaks, you can breathe through your mouth as if you were panting. Between every few breaths, you can try inserting a deeper inhalation and exhalation. When the intensity of the contractions begins to taper off, try resuming the focused breaths through the nose and out the mouth.

You will probably feel like pushing during the last two phases, but resist the urge. If the cervix is not completely dilated, pushing can cause damage or tearing. Kneeling on all fours with the pelvis pointing upwards while panting or blowing through the contractions can help.

STAGE TWO:

The cervix is now completely dilated and you will begin pushing through the contractions. As the urge to push comes and goes throughout a contraction, you should avoid holding your breath. Instead, take a deep breath in and slowly release it as you push. Moaning and grunting can also help. 

After fully exhaling, take a couple of shallow breaths and then another deep breath as the urge to push comes again. Continue this until the contraction subsides. Try keeping your breaths at an even pace. Begin and end each contraction with a cleansing breath to help you relax.

And there you have it, breathing in a nutshell! Easy, no? Now go out there and get ‘em, champ!

Go Joe!

Yesterday night, I asked Jessie if she was ready for labor and whether or not she knew what to expect. She said yes, and started rambling a bunch of nonsense, which gave away the fact that she really didn’t. I told her I wanted to sit down and clarify a few things with her.

As I began my lesson on the stages of labor, this is the conversation that ensued:

Me: So, during the transition phase, contractions last 60…….
Jessie: Stop, stop, stop!
Me: What’s the matter? Am I going too fast?
Jessie: No. I don’t want to know any of this. I only need to know the basics.
Me: You mean you don’t want my advanced placement class?
Jessie: Yes.
Me: So, exactly what are the basics?
Jessie: When blood starts coming out or my water breaks, I’m going to the hospital. That’s all I need to know.
Me: Oh….

It’s interesting how we have two completely different lines of thought. I’ve always aligned myself with the G.I. Joe motto, “Knowing is half the battle.” Jessie is obviously part of the “Less is more” campaign.

To her, going into labor is already a scary enough ordeal. She doesn’t need to know any of the graphic details. The less she knows about what’s happening next, the better. As long as there’s a competent doctor taking care of things, she’ll be fine and dandy. I don’t know if I completely agree with that, but I can respect her opinion and wishes.

I tell her not to worry and that I will be keeping a tab on her and taking notes on how everything is progressing during labor, although I promise to keep things to myself.