One thing I’ve been looking forward to ever since Jessie became pregnant, besides the birth of my daughter, is Jessie returning back to Jessie. I’m ready to say goodbye to the cranky and snappy Jessie.
I figured after giving birth, Jessie’s hormones might return back to a somewhat normal level. However, she’s still as easily irritated as ever and has her highs and lows throughout the day. Silly me. How could I forget about the post-partum blues?
During pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone increase in a woman’s body. After giving birth, those levels, along with others drop steeply within the first 72 hours. At this time, the body responds to those changes, as it tries to re-balance itself again.
Women feel a roller-coaster of emotions ranging from happiness, sadness, anxiety, irritability, and frustration. One minute, Jessie’s telling me what an awesome dad I’ve been thus far, and the next, she’s yelling that I’m the biggest loser of a dad this world has ever seen. Confusing as that may be, it’s completely normal.
For some women, these mood swings end after 3 days. For others, it usually leads to the post-partum blues, which lasts around 4 to 9 days or up to a month or more of roughly the same symptoms. 60 to 80% of women experience post-partum blues. But only 13 to 15% will experience a severe condition of post-partum blues, known as post-partum depression.
As far as Jessie’s mood swings are concerned, I know the hormonal imbalance, the stress of not having enough milk, and obviously, a huge helping of yours truly all play a role in how she’s feeling. I don’t purposely go out of my way to annoy or get Jessie mad, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve got a real knack of doing it. So, the million dollar question is, “What can you do to survive the postpartum blues?”
Most experts agree that the most important thing you can do is to listen to what your wife has to say. OK, that makes sense. I understand that the wife has a lot of pent up frustration that she needs to get off her chest. When she complains about something, I should just listen, not talk. Sometimes, all a woman needs is a good bosom buddy to vent to, right?
But I’m not sure I’m the best person for this job. Jessie’s biggest complaint is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand what it’s like to carry a baby around in my tummy for 9 months, I don’t understand what it’s like to give birth, and I don’t understand what it’s like having to deal with a crying baby 24 hours a day. In her opinion, why should she bother talking to someone who doesn’t know and doesn’t relate to what she’s going through?
A lot of times, I also feel like whatever she’s annoyed at or complaining about is my fault. Of course, the majority of the time, it probably is my fault and I will apologize. Being a man, it’s wired in me to go and fix whatever the wife is unhappy about. And as with most men, the harder I try to fix something, the worse the situation gets. But just sitting on my bottom and not taking action doesn’t seem right either.
Since most of what she says is directed at me, and since they tend to be low blows, I take them pretty personally. I know I should cut the wife some slack, but I can’t help it. I’m a Pisces. Whenever the wife lashes out, I find myself becoming defensive. I’ve got my own take on whatever is making her upset and usually, it’s the polar opposite of whatever she’s thinking.
What I need to do is constantly remind myself that most of Jessie’s overreactions are beyond her control, and she probably doesn’t mean the things she says. Well, at least I hope she doesn’t mean them.
I’m sure months from now, she won’t even remember half the things she’s said. I just need to grin and bear it and keep doing what I should be doing without fumbling too much. Things have their own way of working themselves out.
Me: I’ve been really good thus far today! Haven’t even bothered you. Aren’t you proud of me?
Jessie: Uh, the day hasn’t even begun.
Me: Sure it has. I’ve been up for 30 minutes already.
Jessie: Wow, you really know how to aim high.
Me: It’s all about the baby steps.
I figured after giving birth, Jessie’s hormones might return back to a somewhat normal level. However, she’s still as easily irritated as ever and has her highs and lows throughout the day. Silly me. How could I forget about the post-partum blues?
During pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone increase in a woman’s body. After giving birth, those levels, along with others drop steeply within the first 72 hours. At this time, the body responds to those changes, as it tries to re-balance itself again.
Women feel a roller-coaster of emotions ranging from happiness, sadness, anxiety, irritability, and frustration. One minute, Jessie’s telling me what an awesome dad I’ve been thus far, and the next, she’s yelling that I’m the biggest loser of a dad this world has ever seen. Confusing as that may be, it’s completely normal.
For some women, these mood swings end after 3 days. For others, it usually leads to the post-partum blues, which lasts around 4 to 9 days or up to a month or more of roughly the same symptoms. 60 to 80% of women experience post-partum blues. But only 13 to 15% will experience a severe condition of post-partum blues, known as post-partum depression.
As far as Jessie’s mood swings are concerned, I know the hormonal imbalance, the stress of not having enough milk, and obviously, a huge helping of yours truly all play a role in how she’s feeling. I don’t purposely go out of my way to annoy or get Jessie mad, but as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve got a real knack of doing it. So, the million dollar question is, “What can you do to survive the postpartum blues?”
Most experts agree that the most important thing you can do is to listen to what your wife has to say. OK, that makes sense. I understand that the wife has a lot of pent up frustration that she needs to get off her chest. When she complains about something, I should just listen, not talk. Sometimes, all a woman needs is a good bosom buddy to vent to, right?
But I’m not sure I’m the best person for this job. Jessie’s biggest complaint is that I don’t understand. I don’t understand what it’s like to carry a baby around in my tummy for 9 months, I don’t understand what it’s like to give birth, and I don’t understand what it’s like having to deal with a crying baby 24 hours a day. In her opinion, why should she bother talking to someone who doesn’t know and doesn’t relate to what she’s going through?
A lot of times, I also feel like whatever she’s annoyed at or complaining about is my fault. Of course, the majority of the time, it probably is my fault and I will apologize. Being a man, it’s wired in me to go and fix whatever the wife is unhappy about. And as with most men, the harder I try to fix something, the worse the situation gets. But just sitting on my bottom and not taking action doesn’t seem right either.
Since most of what she says is directed at me, and since they tend to be low blows, I take them pretty personally. I know I should cut the wife some slack, but I can’t help it. I’m a Pisces. Whenever the wife lashes out, I find myself becoming defensive. I’ve got my own take on whatever is making her upset and usually, it’s the polar opposite of whatever she’s thinking.
What I need to do is constantly remind myself that most of Jessie’s overreactions are beyond her control, and she probably doesn’t mean the things she says. Well, at least I hope she doesn’t mean them.
I’m sure months from now, she won’t even remember half the things she’s said. I just need to grin and bear it and keep doing what I should be doing without fumbling too much. Things have their own way of working themselves out.
Me: I’ve been really good thus far today! Haven’t even bothered you. Aren’t you proud of me?
Jessie: Uh, the day hasn’t even begun.
Me: Sure it has. I’ve been up for 30 minutes already.
Jessie: Wow, you really know how to aim high.
Me: It’s all about the baby steps.
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