What I Want

Allow me to continue where I left off on my last entry. You didn’t think that our little spat would be that easily resolved did you? As with any fight that we have, old arguments are brought up just for the fun of it. Wouldn’t want them to feel left out and unimportant. One of the things that was brought up was that I never think about our future. She wants to know what I want, what my dreams are.

In the past, I’d say something along the lines that as long as I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food to eat, I’ll be happy enough. I’m a simple man with simple needs. However, for someone like Jessie, this obviously isn’t enough, which is why I probably spent the night on the couch thinking over the things I said, or in this case, didn’t say.

I’m not the best when it comes to speaking or thinking on my toes, so sometimes things don’t come out the right way or I might not say enough. That’s why I prefer writing over speaking any day of the week. I can think things through, and if there’s anything I don’t like that I’ve written, there’s always the delete button. Which leads me to my following, carefully thought out list of what I want for our future. Hope it’s detailed enough!

1. I still want to open up Eddie’s Burrito Bar. There, I said it! I said the one thing you hate hearing me say the most, but I will say it again because you asked what I want and what my dream is. I know this is not the time to open it. We are about to have a baby and most of our resources and time will need to go to him/her.

I would like one day, when our children are older and our household more stable, to try and open my restaurant. I know my opportunity as a teacher here is limited. As I get older, perhaps not as many people will want me then, so I need to take advantage of this time right now to do that. The restaurant can always wait. There is no age limit for that. That is why I haven't said anything about it lately. But the idea is still there, patiently waiting for the right opportunity.

2. I want to tutor. There, now I said the second thing you hate hearing me say, but I will say it again because that is really what I want to do. No matter how much you want to believe that I'm saying this because you're forcing me to, I'm not. I'm saying it because I genuinely want to do it. And to be honest, I am getting sick of you saying that I don't really want to do it. You're not me. Therefore, when I say what I think, I hope you listen.

As mentioned above, my teaching here has a shelf life. I can't do this here forever. There is no real job security. When I get old, people probably don't want me anymore, so I have to do this while I still have time. Like you said, this is also the easiest way for me to make money and there is no risk. So, why not?

As far as me just talking and doing nothing, I have stated that I would like to sit down with you to discuss details about this. I cannot do this by myself. If I go about this on my own, you know it will turn into a disaster. You know the market better than me. I can teach, but I need help bringing the people in. If we can do that part together, I can do the rest.

3. I would like to see you open your own online clothing store. I want you to do this because I know you can succeed, and I will help you in any way I can. I think this is a great way for you to be your own boss and to work from home. This way, you can spend more time with our children and don't have to depend on other people taking care of them. Plus, because it's something that you enjoy and want to do, you will be much happier than working at a job like you are right now.

4. I've just discussed our future concerning our jobs. Now, let me talk about our children. I would ideally like two children. Two boys or two girls. I really think they would get along better like that than if it were a boy and a girl. I think two boys or two girls would hang out together more as they got older. A boy and a girl probably wouldn't do that as much. Of course, I might be entirely wrong on this.

Either way, that's just what I want, not what I need. What I need is for our children to grow up to be happy and healthy. It really doesn't matter if they are boys or girls. I want to encourage them to explore what they are interested in. Of course, we will also have a family pet. A corgie named Little Mo. A ferret to keep him company would be nice too.

5. I'd like for our children to grow up here until at least elementary school. I want them to get a good foundation in Mandarin and the Chinese culture. After that time, we can then see how our lives are coming along.

Perhaps if we are both very successful here and our children are really doing well, we can let them stay, but instead, send them to a better school in Taiwan where the focus isn't so much on academics. Yes, they are more expensive, but if we are both successful and have saved up money, then that won't be a problem. Then, they could study abroad for college if they choose to.

If moving abroad seems to be a better idea, then we can do that too. Obviously, Houston would seem to be the logical choice, but I am open to any nice suburb. I hear Oregon is really pretty.

6. As we grow older and our children have become independent and we are thinking about retirement, I'd like to move to a nice quiet town somewhere, lots of trees, not noisy, where we can take long relaxing walks at night with our dogs and ferret, a place where we can just sit on the porch and watch the stars at night.

7. I’d also like Eleanor, the 1967 Shelby Mustang GT 500 from the movie, Gone in 60 Seconds. That's not too much to ask for, is it?  

I e-mailed this list to Jessie yesterday. She didn’t comment on it, but I’m guessing she accepted it as a suitable answer because at night, she graciously allowed me to crawl back to our bed instead of the couch.