May 10, 2011

Diarrhea Woes


I have now had diarrhea for an unprecedented 3 weeks. I have gone to four different doctors on six separate occasions, with each one prescribing different medication, none of which have worked. All tests have come back clean. There’s nothing wrong with my body. Apparently running out of reasons, the last doctor said it might be stress-related (irritable bowel syndrome).

After he saw that the wife was pregnant, he asked if I was nervous or stressed out about being a father. Nervous? Stressed out? Me? Hah! I say, bring it! I’ve been doing nothing but preparing for this day for the past 8 months.

However, the doctor said it could be subconscious. I don’t really buy into that, but perhaps, just perhaps I could be doubting myself a bit. After all, being a father is a big deal. It’s easy for me to look at how other people are raising their kids and criticize their techniques, but it’s completely different to do it myself. Will I be able to handle the pressure? Will my kid turn out alright?

On a positive note though, I've managed to lose my gut and love handles without having to break into a sweat. Plus, I’ve been using this whole stress-related theory to my advantage with the wife. Now, whenever Jessie starts to nag me, I feign a cramp and claim she’s giving me too much stress and that I might have diarrhea if she doesn’t back off. Works like a charm!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you are getting scammed by a whole bunch of doctors and pharmaceutical companies, son. You'll live. Eat some more starch and sack up a little.

    ReplyDelete