The Prison Cot

Years of being in the presence of snotty, runny-nosed kids have helped me build-up my immune system to a near Superman-like state. After managing to remain free of a cold thus far this year, I finally succumbed to one yesterday. I have been extra careful not to get sick while Jessie’s been pregnant, but I guess I let my guard down by stopping my daily intake of vitamin C tablets.

I had told Jessie that I would be sleeping in the guest room for the night to prevent her from getting sick too, but she insisted that it was OK. However, after being awoken by me inadvertently coughing in her face, she decided it was time to high-tail it out of the bedroom. 

She said that she would go and sleep on the “bed” in the guest room. I use the word ‘bed’ here very loosely because it’s more like a very thin mattress/cot. If she weren’t pregnant, I would have told her to go for it, but because it doesn’t provide the support that she needs, I wasn’t at all pleased by her decision.  

I told her I would sleep there instead so she could have the bedroom. But she didn’t want it anymore because it was now filled with my germs. Not wanting her to suffer by herself, I made myself comfortable on the couch. Of course, this didn’t make the wife happy at all and got her yelling at me for always being stubborn.

But I wasn’t trying to be stubborn. I just wanted her to know that I was willing to be miserable along with her. Shouldn’t such a noble gesture touch her heart? As usual, the intention was there, but perhaps the execution was a bit misguided. 

I scurry back to the bedroom before the wife can get any angrier, but have a restless night thinking of her lying there alone, pregnant, on a hard, prison-like cot while I lie on our super comfy bed. Chuck and Seagal would have never let such a scenario unfold.

Thought I was exaggerating about my prison cot reference? Here's proof! I used a filter to accentuate the bareness and feelings of despair and gloom that comes with having to sleep in prison. The only thing missing is a shank hidden underneath the mattress. 

My timeout couch is looking more and more like a reward instead of a punishment now.