Money Matters

Last night, we had our monthly argument about money. Jessie was complaining about her job, which she really dislikes, and I made the off-hand comment of how she should find a job that she enjoys. She’s immediately ticked off and asks how she’s supposed to find another job when she’s pregnant.

Of course, this leads to the fact that I don’t make enough and don’t care to make more, that we don’t have our own place and have to depend on others, and that I couldn’t care less about our future. I should have known better than to open my big, fat mouth. I had it coming.

As punishment for my own stupidity, I put myself in timeout for the night. That's what I’ve decided to call our couch. I think about the things she’s said. Though I don’t agree with a lot of it, I know that actions speak louder than words. 


I wonder how much longer I’m going to keep ending up here. I can see it now. Our kid has outgrown his timeout chair and moved on to bigger and better things, and there I am, still on the timeout couch. It’s a very bleak picture.

I really hate fighting with the wife. It's a battle lost before a single shot is even fired. However, now that she’s pregnant, I’m more worried when we get into an argument. The majority of the time, I try to keep her as calm as possible, but sometimes, things just boil over. Have you ever tried stopping a linebacker from barreling you over? I never have, but I figure Jessie’s a good substitute, and believe me, it’s not easy.

I know that too much stress may cause birth defects, a preterm labor, or a miscarriage, which is ever the more reason to keep the wife cool. But did you know that stress in small amounts is actually good for the body? It’s been shown that the chemicals produced while under stress, such as cortisol, help facilitate organ growth and development in the fetus. These children, by the age of two, are more advanced in their mental and motor development than other children their age.

Here’s my updated equation for having a smart kid:
Developing Fetus x (Exercise + Stress) = Harvard.

Now, before every pregnant woman is up in arms against me, I’m not saying that women should purposely put themselves in stressful situations. Nor am I advocating that husbands get into a fistacuff with their spouse. 

There’s good stress and there’s bad stress. And any time you have too much of either one, it can be bad for your body. But at the same time, an occasional short spat with your loved one could be just what your baby needs. Plus, it’s good to air out all your frustrations.

I believe the goal here isn’t to have a stress-free life. That’s impossible. The goal is to take that stress and focus it into something positive. In our case, I need to take the stress of money problems and apply it towards making more!

So, to my dear wife Jessie, you’re welcome for last night’s argument. I had this all planned out right from the very beginning.