Merry Christmas

For Christmas Eve, I took my pregnant wife to eat at Burger King. That’s right. You read that correctly. Nothing screams romance and love like a nice candlelit dinner with the King. All kidding aside, I want it to be known for the record that it was my wife’s idea to eat there, not mine.

I haven’t forgotten my last trip to the couch, and therefore decided that I wanted to make it up to her with a nice meal on Christmas Eve. We had planned to watch Tron in 3D at the IMAX that night, but coordinating a dinner plan that fit with our movie time was a bit difficult. By the time we drove to the theater, found parking, and got our tickets, there was barely 30 minutes left to eat. 

My wife suggested we just eat at Burger King because that was the quickest thing. I nearly had a heart attack at these words. My mind raced back to our argument a few nights earlier about food. I could picture things in my mind already. I would get in trouble again, and she would indulge herself in telling the story of how I took her to Burger King for Christmas Eve to friends and family.

Jessie: How was your Christmas?
Friend: Oh, it was wonderful! My husband took me to a romantic, Michelin three-star restaurant, and then he gave me this beautiful gold necklace from Louis Vuitton. What about you?
Jessie: Well, I simply had a lovely time at Burger King with my always amazing husband. I was thinking he’d take me to KFC, but when we stopped at Burger King, I nearly fainted! What a treat! I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The way they cooked the burger, I honestly thought I biting into a piece of juicy tenderloin! And my Christmas present was a movie which I really had no interest in seeing, but went to anyway because I love my dear husband so much. It shall be a Christmas to be cherished and remembered for all ages! Merry Christmas! Ho-ho-ho!!

(Friend slowly backs away from my crazed-looking wife)

I tried to convince Jessie that we could go eat at a nicer restaurant, but in truth, I knew there wasn’t much chance of that happening if we were to catch our movie. Therefore, Burger King it was.

However, I made her promise that she was completely OK with it and that this was her idea and not mine. If I had had a piece of paper and a pen with me, I would have made her sign a contract acknowledging all of this and thereby taken the responsibility off my shoulder.

In case you’re wondering, Tron in 3D at the IMAX was amazing! And yes, she did tell her family about Burger King.