The Baby Expert: Disciplinary Action

Ever since Caitlyn became mobile and developed a sense of freedom and independence, she has constantly been testing her boundaries to see what she can get away with. For example, if she throws something on the ground, I’ll tell her to stop. However, she’ll then pick up another object, look me straight in the eyes, and then throw it. She’ll keep this up as long as she has something within her reach or until you remove her from the scene.

Same goes with biting. She might bite your leg, so you tell her to stop. Therefore, she picks up a book or toy, look you straight in the eye and then bite it. Remove everything that’s bitable and she’ll try biting the ground. If anything, I have to give her credit for being persistent.

I’ve been holding off on any form of disciplinary action because babies usually haven’t developed a concept of right or wrong. But now that’s Caitlyn’s 17 months old and judging by her actions, it’s pretty obvious she knows when she's doing something she's not supposed to. Unfortunately for her, she picked the wrong person to test her limits with.

That’s why I started experimenting with time-out this week. I’ve used it twice thus far, once for throwing things and once for biting. The idea is for her to stay on her time-out mat for a minute. While she’s probably not using that minute to mull over why she shouldn’t throw or bite things, she probably understands that she did something wrong to get put there, which is what I want. I want her to realize that those actions will result in consequences that she won’t like.

My problem with time-out is that she tries to crawl away or keeps crying or both. Most people suggest placing the baby in a playpen to fix the crawling away problem, but what about the crying part? Even after her minute is up, Caitlyn is still throwing a fit and trying to make her understand that being calm and quiet is the best way to get out of time-out is above her level of comprehension. In the end, I have to pick her up before she gets so worked up that she throws up.

The wife has a tactic that probably works better. Whenever Caitlyn starts acting up, she’ll just get up and go to another corner of the room or just ignore her. Caitlyn will have her fit and when she’s done, she’ll go find Mommy or Mommy will go find her.

In this case, Caitlyn is also able to put two and two together. Being bad means Mommy will leave or ignore her. The upside to this is that she determines herself when she's ready to behave, no one's forcing her to stay put, and there's no need for a timer.

We’ll probably leave time-out in time-out until she can better grasp the concept of it. But if she even has an ounce of the stubbornness the wife and I have, we’re definitely going to be in an uphill battle for a long, long time.