The Baby Expert: July 2012

July 31, 2012

Swimfest

It’s summertime and it’s hot, so it’s the perfect time to introduce the baby to the wonderful world of swimming.

When I started swimming for the city league swim team in middle school, we were required to wear swimsuit briefs when attending swimming competitions. I still remember the first time I tried it on. I was quite horrified to discover that it was much smaller than my underwear briefs, and it only got worse when I came out and the saleslady said that it was still too big and needed to go a size smaller.

My initial horror turned to delight when I wore it to my next meet. I remember gliding through the water so fast and was so far ahead of everyone else that I actually stopped to look back to make sure there wasn’t a false start, and then cruised to an easy victory.

But while swimsuit briefs might be great for blowing the competition away, they’re not exactly suited for a leisurely day at the beach or pool, unless of course you’re in Europe. I thought I had left swimsuit briefs in the past, so imagine my dismay when I found out that board shorts were not allowed at the pools here in Taiwan. You have a choice between briefs or jammers, neither of which particularly appeal to me.

In a sort of retaliation, I decided to opt for the smallest, flashiest swimsuit brief I could find that didn’t leave much to the imagination in hopes that the staff members would plead for me to put on more conservative board shorts instead. Unfortunately, that never happened.

Now that I’m a father and am responsible for a baby, flaunting my package around in a teeny tiny bathing suit really isn’t appropriate, so I special ordered a full-body competition suit just for this occasion. I’ve always thought these to be pretty cool looking and always wanted to wear one, so while I may never be the next Michael Phelps, at least I can look the part.

The wife doesn’t know how to swim, and even though I’ve tried in the past to teach her, I’ve never had much success getting anything more than a few kicks and strokes out of her before she states that she’s tired and needs a breather. Plus, because she hasn’t gone back down to her pre-pregnancy weight, she refuses to get into a swimsuit. Therefore, taking Caitlyn to the pool and getting her accustomed to the water has become my responsibility.

The first time we went last Friday, I made the mistake of bringing the wife along in case I needed some back-up. Caitlyn just ended up clinging to her while I tried in vain to coax her into the water.

The second time, I went with my dad. I was able to get Caitlyn into the water more easily, and she actually seemed to enjoy it. The only problem was that my dad also had to pay to get in even though he didn’t actually go into the water.

Finally, the third time, I went by myself and voilà! Caitlyn’s in the water playing around. The only bummer was that no one could video tape the whole scene. Once she's completely comfortable being in the water, we'll be signing her up for swim class.

The only major problem that I can foresee with Caitlyn swimming in the future is the rule that states everyone has to wear a swimming cap. That’s another thing I thought I left behind in the past, but for sanitary reasons, you have to wear a swimming cap. Well, Caitlyn hates anything that touches her head. That includes hats, barrettes, towels, as well as swimming caps.

In my opinion, the pool people ought to be more concerned about her pooping and peeing in the water rather than worrying about a measly old swimming cap. Which reminds me, I once pooped in my cousin's pool because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom when I was a kid. That was awesome.

July 21, 2012

One Little Step

For the past several months now, we’ve been taking Caitlyn to do physical therapy at the hospital to help work on her leg muscles. In the beginning, it was because she would constantly tense them up, so they would teach us how to massage her muscles to help them relax.

When it was time for her to begin crawling, they showed us the proper way for her to crawl. And now that it’s time for her to begin walking, the therapist has been showing us different ways to get her moving on her own. They say Caitlyn has shown much improvement since the beginning, but that her leg muscles are still a bit weaker than where they should be, and that she’s still lagging behind others in her age group.

She’s closing in on 14 months now and still hasn’t walked on her own yet. I’m not too concerned about this because the time frame for walking is pretty wide. However, before all this therapy, I never really thought about teaching Caitlyn how to walk or crawl. I thought these were things that would come naturally to her. Heck, I didn’t even think there was a proper way for her to sit or crawl or stand, but apparently, there is. But while babies do learn on their own, we still have to be here to guide them in the right direction.

Our physical therapist said we needed to try to make walking more fun and interesting for Caitlyn so she would be encouraged to do it on her own. So for the past two or three weeks, we’ve been cheering her on and coming up with various ways to motivate and keep her interested. That mainly means tempting her with treats.

And it seems to be working. In just this short span of time, Caitlyn has become more willing to take assisted steps and has started to walk longer distances than before. My dad has even set the lofty goal of seeing Caitlyn walk on her own before he flies back to the States. Anything is possible!

I know this because the wife and I managed to see The Dark Knight Rises the other day. In my opinion, it was rather disappointing, especially in the way it portrayed Catwoman and Bane. Plus I thought it was full of plot holes. 7 out of 10 at best from this harsh critic.

Anyway, the point is, my parents were able to pull off the seemingly impossible – taking care of Caitlyn with the two of us gone. And for four hours at that. I thoroughly congratulate them for being the first ones to succeed, but hopefully not the last!

Look at me go!

All this blood just
from a cut lip

Just a couple of happy hikers

Daddy makes a rare appearance

Play area at the Baby Café

I am easily entertained

Wait! I haven't even gotten to
the punchline yet!

Mommy said she'll get me a slide
just like this!

July 15, 2012

The Look

One of the first things my mentor teacher told me I needed to do when I first started teaching was to get “the look” down. The “this is my house, my rules, if you don’t like it, we’re going to have major problems” look. It’s something that’s necessary if you ever want to have control of the classroom.

When dealing with a baby, you also need to get a look down if you ever want to maintain control of the household. There’s one look that’s more effective than all other looks when dealing with our baby – the indifferent look. The “you can scream and cry as long as you want because I’m just going to ignore you and surf the internet until you stop” look. I’m pretty good at this look, but the wife isn’t a huge fan because she can’t stand to hear the baby cry.

Because of this, Caitlyn has the wife tightly wrapped around her little finger now. She knows as long as she cries loud enough and throws a big enough tantrum, Mommy will pick her up and give her whatever she wants.

I suppose that’s the difference between men and women. Women have a nurturing instinct that drives them to want to comfort and coddle any child that cries. Men, on the other hand, won’t have their heartstrings tugged at so easily. I suppose this is the way Mother Nature intended to keep things in balance. If men also responded in the way that women did, we’d probably have a world full of spoiled and pampered brats.

Most of my efforts to make Caitlyn become less attached to Mommy have been undermined by the fact that the wife keeps giving the baby what she wants, mainly herself. She has yet to perfect “the look.” Maybe buying some earplugs for her would help.

This task of mine has taken on more importance and a sense of urgency in recent days because we’re closing in on July 17. This is an extremely important date because this is when the movie, The Dark Knight Rises, starts playing in theaters. I figure our best shot at seeing the movie is while my parents are still in town and can help watch the baby.

And though we still have much work to do in terms of detaching the baby from the two of us, we’ve come a long ways. Today was our first attempt at leaving Caitlyn alone with my parents.

I had the wife go out to run errands in the afternoon while I stayed home with my parents and Caitlyn. After a while, I also left the apartment, but only to sit outside the door for a few minutes before coming back in.

After doing this a few times and with Caitlyn being fine, my parents decided to take her to the children’s library down the street. This was to be their first big test. Could they handle Caitlyn for an extended period of time by themselves?

The resounding answer is ‘yes!’ After coming back after about 40 minutes, my parents happily reported that Caitlyn had fun at the library with all the other children. I figure after a few more outings like this, they should have the confidence and know-how to take care of the baby by themselves. The notion of seeing The Dark Knight Rises in the theaters is slowly becoming a reality. The dawn is coming!

Flipping through her
2nd favorite book

Perfect weather

Ferdinand the bull?

Can I quit smiling now?
It's freaking hot!

Who wants some sushi?

Time to slice something up!

July 9, 2012

Mountainbaby

My dad, Caitlyn, and I have been continuing our morning trips to the mountains, and I am happy to say that it’s been a memorable time for the three of us. I’ve always been more drawn to naturey things, but the wife is more of a city person and shuns anything that produces sweat or causes muscles to cramp, so any hikes we’ve ever taken in the mountains have never lasted very long.

That’s why I’m glad my dad enjoys these hikes as much as I do. Even though not much is said between us, it’s still a good bonding experience. I haven’t really had those kinds of experiences with him since elementary school when my mom would take my sister to piano lessons on weekends, and my dad and I would watch kungfu movies together on TV all morning long.

On the spur of the moment, I decided we could try hiking to the top of Qixing (Seven Star) Mountain the other day, which is the highest dormant volcano in Taiwan at 1,120 meters. It was a steep trail and wasn’t very easy to traverse.

While my dad may be 69 years old, he probably still has the body of a 30 or 40 year old. In other words, he’s in pretty darn good shape for someone his age, which was why I wasn’t too concerned about him doing the hike. I was more worried about me quitting and giving up before him.

As we slowly trudged up the mountain, people coming up or down would give my dad words of encouragement, saying how it was pretty impressive of him to be climbing up the mountain with a baby strapped to him. I believe this gave him a boost to the ego and the will power to continue on even though it was obvious he was wearing out quick. Plus, Caitlyn was really enjoying herself, and I don’t think he wanted to disappoint her. Like father like son, we’re both pretty stubborn and he refused to give in.

But when we reached the halfway point, he had to throw in the towel. While we might not have reached our goal, we did manage to accomplish our initial task, which was to keep Caitlyn occupied and away from Mommy so she could have a few hours of extra sleep.

One thing I’d like to continue after my parents leave is these morning hikes. It’s a good source of exercise and a great way to introduce the baby to Mother Nature. Of course, if she prefers to go back to her old habit of waking up at 8:30, I wouldn’t be completely opposed to that either.


I'm on top of the world!

Looking down the mountain

Our goal is somewhere
over the ridge

Blast these steep steps!

You can do it, Grandpa!

Sulfurous fumarole

July 7, 2012

The Flying Cow

Our first overnight trip with the grandparents was to a country farm called The Flying Cow this past Wednesday. At the farm, you can do all sorts of stuff like feeding and petting the farm animals, milking the cows, getting bit by mosquitoes, and making butter and ice cream.

Of course, it was way too hot for Caitlyn to really be out in the sun for an extended period of time, so while the wife, baby, and grandparents all opted for the comfort of our air conditioned guest room for the majority of our stay, I was free to explore the place at my own leisurely pace. As it turns out, it is quite a pleasant place to visit.

Besides the heat and the overabundance of mosquitoes, the only other low point of the trip came when I put the wife in charge of the camcorder. She assured me she could handle it after I told her all she had to do was push the red button to record and to stop. But at the end of all our Kodak moments, the wife gravely informed me that she wasn't sure if she had even recorded anything. And sure enough, after double checking, nothing had been recorded.

How does that happen?! I didn't think it could get any easier than pushing a little red button. Ah, well. I'm sure we'll be making a return trip to the farm in the future when Caitlyn is older and more able to participate in all the activities. But maybe, this time we'll go in the fall when it’s not so gosh darn hot.


I think I'll just hang out in our nice, cool room!

Let me help you plan our itinerary

Even fake cows need shade

Barn house/restaurant

Awesome landscape

Taking a casual stroll

So peaceful

Can we buy our own farm?

Let me out!

Peep peep!

Lots of butterflies at the farm

Wannabe butterfly

Look at the camera
and say, "Moo!"

Are you sure this is safe?

You want to switch?

Pedal faster, girl!

Look! A cow!

A nice country stroll at sunset

Feed me!

Grandma showing how it's done

Ah! Get away!

Should I be embarrassed that I'm
scared of a little lamb?

Help! This cow's a meat-eater!

Fresh milk

Raise your hand if
you're having fun!

On the bridge to our room

July 5, 2012

Summer Days

Unfortunately for the wife, the baby has decided to stick with waking up at 6:30 every morning. Fortunately for the wife, I'm on summer vacation now and can be at her beck and call any time she wants. Unfortunately for the wife, that means I have an extra 11 hours of time every day in which I can unintentionally annoy her. And she'll tell you that I don't put a minute of it to waste. Fortunately for the wife, Grandpa and Caitlyn have finally struck a truce. She'll let him hold her, but only if there's a cracker in it for her or when she needs a quick mode of transportation to find Mommy.

Now that we're in the middle of summer, the heat has become quite unbearable for adults and babies alike. But waking up earlier has been a blessing in disguise because now we can leave earlier to do things before it becomes too hot. We've already made a couple trips to the mountains and to the zoo - all coming back before lunchtime.

This would have been unheard of in the past when Caitlyn would wake up at 9. Plus, because most of the trips are just with my dad and Caitlyn, we can get ready and leave a lot quicker than if the wife was involved. Take this one conversation for instance:

(7:40 am)
Me: I'm taking Caitlyn with me and my dad to the mountains this morning.
Wife: When did you decide this?
Me: Just now.
Wife: You haven't changed yet.
Me: Don't need to. My t-shirt and shorts double as pj's and mountain climbing clothes. Awesome, right?
Grandma: Did you tell your dad?
Me: Nope. He's in the bathroom. I'll tell him when he gets out.
(Grandpa gets out of the bathroom)
Me: Hey, you want to take Caitlyn to the mountains right now?
Grandpa: Sure. Let's go!
Me: Sweet! See you later, honey!
Wife: But....
(7:50 am - We're off!)

Had the wife decided to tag along, this is how things would have went down:

(7:40 am)
Me: I'm taking Caitlyn with me and my dad to the mountains this morning.
Wife: Ok, well, I want to come too.
Me: No problem. But you’ll have to hurry. I want to get there before it gets too hot.
Wife: I just need to take a shower and wash my hair.
Me: Why do you need to wash your hair? We’re just going for a hike.
Wife: You wouldn’t understand. And then I’ll need to prepare some food for the baby.
Me: But we’ll be back before lunch.
Wife: You never know. After that, I’ll have to put on some make-up, do the laundry, and then tidy up the house a bit before we leave.
Me: Sigh.
(9:40 am)

Wife: Ok! I’m ready to go!
Me: Forget it! You just ruined everything!

And that is why men are superior to women.