Bully for You

Recently, the wife informed me that Caitlyn’s teacher had told her about a situation at school where a student had taken away a toy that she was playing with. Instead of running to the teacher and telling her what had happened or crying like most children would, Caitlyn just stood there silently watching the kid play with his newly acquired toy. When the teacher brought the boy over and asked her if he had taken her toy, Caitlyn refused to say anything. It wasn’t until the teacher led her away from him that Caitlyn said, in an extremely quiet tone, that the boy did indeed take her toy.

This concerned the wife a bit, though by no means did it take her by surprise. It's not like this is the first time we've heard of such things from Caitlyn's teacher. Our child does lean more towards the shy, timid side. However, that doesn’t mean it’s OK to be taken advantage of or perhaps bullied, in the future.

The wife told Caitlyn that she has to fight back, to take back what is hers. An eye for an eye. Personally, I’m not so sure about that. I’m more of a lover, not a fighter kind of guy. I believe in diffusing a situation, not escalating it. Surely there are more peaceful ways of settling problems than with force, fists, and fighting.

When I was in middle school, there was a kid that bullied me. I would ignore his comments or laugh them off. One day, he decided to punch me in the stomach while in the locker room for no good reason. I tried not to show that I was in pain, but at the same time, didn’t do anything about it. Thankfully, I had a friend who was pretty intimidating looking, and he saw the whole thing. He chewed out the bully and said if he ever tried to bully me again, he would regret it.

A few weeks later, the bully came up to and asked me for a piece of paper to write his homework on. I obliged and in turn, he said, “thank-you.” I still clearly remember this even though it happened years ago because it really threw me off guard to hear that word coming out of his mouth.

Did my act of kindness move his heart? Or was he thinking of my friend’s ominous warning. Maybe the wife and I are both right. Caitlyn does need to stand up for herself, but at the same time, be a person of kindness and compassion. It almost seems conflictory. I’m gonna shake my fist in your face, but afterwards, I’m going to give you a hug. Confusion might be our best friend when dealing with bullies.