The Baby Expert: Vomit

On Monday night, I came down with a case of food poisoning. Most likely a norovirus from eating a salad I had bought. Four bouts of vomiting followed along with chills and a slight fever. After a few hours of being yelled at by the wife to go to the emergency room, I finally complied.

I’m going to digress a bit here because I’ve got a great story about vomiting that I want to tell. Back in ancient Rome, the Romans loved their toga parties and the food that came along with them. These parties usually lasted for days, and because they didn’t want to stop the partying on account of a full stomach, the Romans would force themselves to throw-up so they could eat more.

Well, many years ago, when I was still a strapping young lad, I went with some friends to a made-to-order, all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. We had overestimated how much we could actually finish and ended up with a lot of leftovers. Fearing that the management would get mad and demand us to pay for the wasted food, I thought back to my little Roman fact and did what any respectable Roman would have done in my situation. I went to the bathroom, forced myself to throw-up all the sushi I had already eaten, went back to our table, and dutifully finished every last bit of sushi, much to the relief of my friends.

Back on topic, the whole reason I bring up my food poisoning is because the following day, the baby has a fever herself, runny nose, and diarrhea. (This is her first actual cold! Actually, can this be considered a cold?) At first, I didn’t think food poisoning could be contagious, but it turns out that I’m wrong. While the norovirus is contagious, it is usually transmitted when the stricken vomits and the virus is aerosolized by the flushing of the toilet. And since I did throw-up four times at home, this is most likely what happened. The good thing is that the norovirus will usually run its course in about 24 to 48 hours.

While at the doctor’s, the wife also mentioned our baby’s tooth growing a bit crooked. I had noticed this a few days ago, and pointed it out to her. The wife, in typical fashion, went into panic mode, and started looking up what could be done about it.

I told her it wasn’t a big deal. Baby teeth fall out. And even if the permanent teeth are crooked, braces can easily fix the problem. But that may be just too long of a wait for her, as can be seen in the following excerpt from our conversation.

Jessie: Hey, I just saw online that babies can get braces, too.
Me: Why the heck would we get braces for our baby?
Jessie: You just don’t care about our baby!!
Me: Wha-??

Logic has obviously been thrown out the window. And it’s my job to go and fetch it back. Thankfully, the doctor agreed with me and said that crooked baby teeth aren’t a big deal and that it’s more important for the baby to be healthy. I’ll say an 'amen,' to that!

On a totally unrelated note, the wife doesn't have much of a sense of humor these days, but I thought this comment from last weekend was pretty good.

(Preparing to hang out with a mom and her daughter whom we randomly met while applying for a passport for Caitlyn.)

Me: You need to hurry up or we’re going to be late. You don’t want to give her a bad first impression.
Jessie: In that case, maybe I shouldn’t bring you along.