The Baby Expert: December 2013

Dear Santa,

I’m here to speak on behalf of Caitlyn since she can’t write yet. She's definitely been a good girl this year. No complaints from me. Every day, she continually grows into her own person.

She’s independent. You try to help her with anything, and the first thing she’ll tell you is, “I can do it!” Put her shoes on for her, and she’ll take them off and do it herself again. Help her turn on the faucet to wash her hands and she’ll turn it off and turn it back on again herself. Help her put down the toilet lid after she potties and flush the toilet for her and she’ll put the lid back up, then back down, and then flush the toilet again herself. Help her put away her toys and she’ll dump it all out and then put them back in herself. You get the idea. Like she says, she can do it, and she wants to prove it to you.

She’s thoughtful. Just this past weekend, I was sleeping in her bed because she wanted to sleep with Mommy in our bed. She came in to wake me up in the morning, and as I groggily got up, she ran back into our room and got my glasses for me without any prompting. I thought that was the sweetest thing ever. Or maybe she just had an ulterior motive, like wanting me to hurry up so I could turn on the TV for her.

She’s got a great memory. We might leave the house in the morning, and I’ll promise her a cracker or TV privileges when we get home if she behaves. Seven o’clock at night when we get back, the first thing she’ll do is ask for what was promised to her. This mental ability will definitely come in handy when studying to get into Harvard.

She loves going to school. Every day she comes home, she proudly announces that she didn’t cry while there. And then she waits, expecting me to hand her the iPad as a reward for her good deed. As if. How about a pat on the head and a high-five instead? She loves school so much now that some days, she’ll even refuse to go home with the wife when she goes to pick her up. Hah! We’ll see if she loves school this much once she hits middle school. If she does, then we can talk about letting her play with the iPad as a reward.

She’s got a pretty easygoing nature. I’m not saying that she’s perfect, but I haven’t really seen the terrible two’s come out of her yet. Sure, she throws a bit of a tantrum every now and then when she doesn’t get what she wants, but it’s usually when she’s tired and sleepy. Usually just counting to three and threatening time out is enough to keep her in line.

If she does deserve a teeny tiny bit of coal this year, it’s for insisting that Mommy lie down with her at night until she falls asleep. We tried just tossing her in bed and leaving, but the wife couldn’t stand the crying, so that only lasted a few days. I’m hoping we can phase this out sooner than later.

So there you have it, Santa. Heap those presents on Caitlyn this year. She deserves it. Even though she hasn't asked for anything in specific, she likes cooking, playing doctor, and reading. And while you’re at it, throw in a TV for me since the wife won’t let me buy one for our bedroom.

Sincerely,

The Baby Expert

P.S. Please tell the wife that while thermal underwear is nice, it's not exactly a Christmas present to get excited about. I'm fine wearing the sweatpants I've had for 16 years to sleep.