Happy Birthday, Supermom!

Happy birthday and happy 2^nd wedding anniversary to the wife! Yes, I purposely planned our wedding date to coincide with her birthday to make life simpler for me. Only one date to remember and only one present required!

For Jessie’s surprise, I decided to make two scrapbook pages for her and the baby. I find that presents which are handmade and personalized carry more of a meaning than buying some random trinkets at Tiffany’s. Plus, it’s a heck of a lot cheaper.

Back when I was still teaching in the States, a fellow teacher turned author, Tanya Michelle, got me into scrapbooking. I highly recommend buying her book, The President Looks like Me. I’m not sure why pictures of my daughter and I reading our favorite book are not up on the website yet, but I’m confident this problem will be resolved the next time I check. (That was a not-so-subtle hint directed at you, Tanya Michelle.)

Anyway, I like being crafty, so scrapbooking was a good fit for me. I even took some classes and earned a “degree” in scrapbooking. Proud of my achievement, I included this degree as an accomplishment in my job resume, thinking recruiters might be impressed by it, thus giving me a better shot at negotiating a higher salary. Alas, the need for well-educated scrapbookers seems to be few and far between.

Making these scrapbook pages for the wife proved to be a challenge. Obviously, I couldn’t make them at home and I couldn’t run out and buy supplies whenever I felt like it. There was a lot of deception and smoke and mirrors involved in making sure the wife didn’t know what was going on.

While the designs are simplistic in nature, the process and effort to pull this whole thing off will probably never be fully appreciated by the wife. After all, she only gets to see the finished product, not what went into making it.

There was the whole planning and design process. Rough drafts that were made only to be scrapped a few days later. Blisters from doing so much cutting. Trips to the hypermarket next to work during lunch break to buy extra paper, and trips to various stores to find the elusive shadow box. Then there were the countless supplies I purchased only to be returned because they weren’t what I needed. The list goes on and on.

All I’m saying is that I better get some good lovin’ after this!

Got Milk?

Caitlyn’s back to being a finicky eater again. During the night, she will consistently down 120 ml of formula, but during the day, it’s anybody’s guess as to how much she will drink. Sometimes it’s 30, 60, 90 ml, or nothing at all. Dreams of a consistent, 4-hour feeding cycle have been tossed out the window.

Because of her growing concerns over Caitlyn’s reluctance to eat, the wife took her to visit the doctor two weeks ago for a check-up. While she’s now dipped down to the 15^th percentile in terms of weight, the doctor still assures us that she’s developing normally and that every baby has their own eating habit. We’ll see what he says when she gets into negative digits, because that’s where I feel we’re headed if Caitlyn keeps this up.

Around this time, the wife also gave up on breastfeeding. It was more or less a mutual affair. The baby wasn’t showing much interest in her breast milk anymore, and the wife was tired of constantly pumping her breasts only to get a measly 30 ml each time. I’m just happy that I don’t have to constantly wash her breast pumps with all their nooks and crannies.

Without the wife’s breastmilk, we switched strictly to formula for Caitlyn. I was admittedly a bit crestfallen over this because I know there are certain nutritional values in breastmilk that can’t be replicated with formulas. However, about a week ago, Jessie’s mom mentioned a relative who recently had a baby and an overabundance of milk. This person had offered to donate her extra milk for us to use.

I’ve read about milk banks where women can donate their extra milk for other people to use, but never really considered that as an option for us. There’s just something about having our baby drink someone else’s milk that makes me uncomfortable and uneasy. It’s Rebecca De Mornay in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, feeding her breastmilk to an unsuspecting couple’s baby. Creepy.

People share things all the time like clothes, but wearing someone else’s shirt is a bit different than wearing underwear that they’ve donated. It’s just a bit too intimate. Likewise, producing milk for your baby to drink is also an intimate affair. But I suppose if you look at it logically, sharing milk is really no different than taking a cow’s milk and drinking it for ourselves.

On Saturday, we got our first package of frozen, expressed milk. There were a total of 24 packets, with about 120 ml of milk in each. I can’t even begin to fathom someone having that much extra milk to spare, but I’m already thinking about how much money we’ll be saving from not having to purchase formula.

I worried about whether or not our baby would take to a stranger’s milk, but my fears were put to rest on Sunday when we tried feeding her the milk for the first time. There were no strange or puzzled looks of surprise from Caitlyn as I thought there might be. She drank a scant 80 ml and then began fussing to stop. Both perfectly normal behaviors for her. Looks like this could work!

Ready to roll!

Looking out the window

 

Stinky face

Blowing bubbles

 

All smiles for daddy!

At the National Taiwan University of Arts

 

Posing with a water buffalo

Taking a rest from carrying Caitlyn

 

Rejuvenated

Soaking in the beautiful weather

Problem Solved

What do you with a stack of diapers that are too small to use or don’t want? That’s a question I’ve pondered about for awhile now. We have two packs of preemie diapers that were given to us that are too small and a pack of diapers my mom bought, but don’t use because the material is too rough.

While the wife was still staying at the postpartum center, we tried to give away the preemie diapers, but no one had a baby small enough to need them. And I’m not going to give people diapers that I don’t even want to use myself. Therefore, we’ve been stuck with 180+ diapers for quite awhile now.

I refuse to throw them away because that would be a waste. I tried looking online for household uses for unused diapers, thinking people might have creative uses for them, but was quite disappointed when I couldn’t find any. People have come up with hundreds of uses for duct tape, but no one can come up with any uses for diapers besides putting them on a baby’s bottom? So sad.

Lately, the wife has been complaining about how the crib bumper doesn’t really protect the baby when she accidentally hits her head against the bars. She’s been wanting to buy a bumper that’s thicker and has more padding, but I’ve balked at the idea because of SIDS.

I specifically bought the crib bumper that we have because it’s breathable. And it’s a good thing I did because our baby loves bunching herself into a corner and pressing her face against the bars when she sleeps. But the problem remained that there still wasn’t much padding to protect the baby.

Finally, it dawned on me that I could use the diapers to wrap around the bars as padding. I wouldn’t even need tape to keep them up because there was already a sticky tab on the diaper to use. Sometimes I surprise even myself with my own brilliance.

After meticulously wrapping each bar with a diaper, I proudly show the wife my creation.

Jessie: What the hell is this?!
Me: I’ve managed to find a use for all our unwanted diapers! You know how you’re always worried about the baby hurting herself whenever she hits the bars? Well, I wrapped each bar with two diapers so that it provides some padding. Nifty, eh?
Jessie: It’s ugly.
Me: What’s more important, fashion or safety?
Jessie: ……
Me: Yea, that’s what I thought. Self high-five! (smack)

No padding = Grumpy baby

Double-stacked diapers = Double the protection

Head against the bars = No problem

Black Swan

Warning: The following post may contain spoilers about the movie, Black Swan. Also, it contains references to erections. More specifically, my erections. If you have any misgivings about either subject, this post might not be for you.

One thing that’s been cut out of our life since having Caitlyn is movies. We haven’t been able to sit down and properly watch a movie because the baby constantly needs to be tended to. Also, when the baby’s sleeping, the volume on the TV is turned down, which means I can’t hear or follow what anyone is saying.

These days, my strategy for watching a movie is reading a detailed synopsis of the movie beforehand. This way, if I need to leave the couch to take care of the baby, I won’t be lost whenever I return because I’ll already know what happened.

I’ll be the first to say that my taste in movies probably isn’t for everyone. Most movies I enjoy watching usually are the straight-to-DVD type or made for TV movies that are so bad that they’re actually enjoyable. This can be a slight annoyance to anyone who watches movies with me.

I remember one time in high school, I really wanted to watch the movie, The Other Sister. It’s a movie about a mentally retarded girl who falls in love. It seemed like a touching story at the time, so I rented it and watched it with my friends, telling them that this would be an amazing movie that they wouldn’t regret. After barely making it through the film, they felt it their civic duty to ban me from ever selecting another movie to watch.

This past Saturday, the wife suggests that we rent a DVD. She assures me that with the baby sleeping more soundly now at night, we can easily make it through a movie without any distractions. Already used to my questionable taste in films, she tells me to get whatever I want, but I tell myself that for once, I should rent a movie she wants to watch. There will be no screening of Steven Segal’s latest flick tonight.

As I make my way through the aisles of videos, I spot the movie, Black Swan. The wife likes Natalie Portman and has wanted to see it, so I knew this would be a safe pick. When I proudly show her what DVD I rented, she commends me on my selection.

If you’re not familiar with the movie, it’s basically about a ballet dancer, Nina (Natalie Portman), who feels her starring role in the ballet, Swan Lake, is being threatened by a newcomer, Lily (Mila Kunis).

In the movie, there are a few sexually graphic scenes. One of them involves Nina and Lily. Being a man, I can’t help but be turned on a bit by the scene. The wife notices and immediately starts laughing and thinking that this is the funniest thing she’s seen in years. In fact, this is probably the most I’ve seen her laugh in quite a long time.

I shrug my shoulders and say it’s a completely natural reaction. There's nothing to be embarrassed about here. In fact, if I didn’t get turned on, she should be worried. What guy wouldn’t be aroused by two hot women going at it? It’s not like I was getting turned on by the muscular men dancing around to classical music in tight leotards.

Now, if I was watching with my parents and got turned on, that would be a rather embarrassing situation. Whenever I used to watch movies with my parents and a sex scene would come up, I couldn’t cover my face or turn away. That would have made things even more awkward, so instead, I’d start reciting the multiplications table in my head. This usually distracted me enough until the scene ended. I always did wonder what my parents were thinking during such scenes. Did they think, “Ohhh….that’s hot!” or were they completely repulsed by it.

With the wife, I didn’t think it mattered. So what if she saw my erection. It’s not like it’s the first time she’s seen it. Well, the wife thought it was a huge deal and kept bringing it up throughout the movie and even after. She said it was so funny that she wanted to start a blog just so she could write about it. It seems, that my erection, not our daughter, is what it takes to compel her to start journaling. And if this is what it takes to make the wife laugh and be happy, so be it.

When we finish watching the movie and head off to bed, I try to reenact the steamy scene with Nina and Lily. But staying true to the character of Nina, the wife is cold and frigid in bed and resists my advances.

In the end, I finally give up. Perhaps she’s just really getting into character, perhaps she’s too tired, or perhaps it’s due to the fact that I haven’t taken a shower for the past 2 days. 4 days, if you want to include Sunday and today. Yes, my personal hygiene has been a bit lacking as of late, but at least I'm doing my part for water conservation.

And my final verdict for Black Swan? A sexually arousing 8.5 out of 10.

Heartbreaker

Light the fire and toss in the onsies! Shirts proclaiming, “Daddy’s Little Heartbreaker,” might be more applicable for our baby. Caitlyn has turned against her master yet again.

On Saturday, I let the wife have the night off so she could take a break and I could spend some alone time with the baby. The entire time Jessie was gone, Caitlyn cried almost non-stop. For over 2 hours, she didn’t want to feed or have anything to do with me. Not until Mommy came home and she was safe in her arms did Caitlyn finally calm down.

Her recent bizarre behavior has completely flummoxed me. One minute she likes me, the next minute, I’m a complete stranger. She’s got a love/hate relationship with me, and I don’t know what's bringing about this behavior. She sees me every day, I interact with her every day, so it seems odd that she would completely forget who I am at random, various times throughout the day.

It seems as if she's determining everything by how she’s feeling at that particular moment. If she’s in a happy and generous mood, she’ll let me hold her and feed her. If she’s in a cranky mood, forget about it. I should be happy and grateful with just that because Caitlyn won’t let other people hold her even when she's in a good mood.

I can see all her fans slowly fading away if she keeps this behavior up. After all, when people visit, they want to be able to hold and play with the baby. If Caitlyn's got a no-look, no-touch policy in place, what's the point of visiting? Thinking long term, this could spell trouble when we want to start dropping the baby off at the nanny’s or Grandma’s. No one is going to want to deal with a baby that cries nonstop or is wary of anyone besides Mommy.

I’ve tried to stop this behavior cold turkey by continuing to hold Caitlyn until she stops crying, but whenever the wife hears the baby’s persistent cries and screams, she always comes to her rescue. I personally think that’s just letting the baby know that crying will get her what she wants. But given how stubborn Caitlyn can be, I know she won’t stop and have to agree that letting her cry hours on end isn’t exactly the solution either.

Another complication that’s arisen is the fact that she doesn’t like sitting in her stroller any more. I don’t know what has brought this on either, but I’m guessing that it’s due to the fact that we’ve been using the baby carrier a lot more recently. She probably likes this better because it’s like being carried in our arms.

However, I don’t want her to get into this comfort zone where she expects to be held everywhere. We’re already holding her more than we should be at home. She needs to learn to sit in her stroller and be happy with that.

This past weekend, we take her to practice being out in public, and she starts a screaming fit in her stroller that gains her an audience from passersby, including several moms. The wife is obviously embarrassed as she picks up the baby and tries to shush her. Some people are just curious onlookers while others are giving her advice as to the cause of our baby’s tantrum and what the wife should do.

Don’t people know it’s rude to stare and that we don’t really want their advice at this particular moment in time? Mothers, especially, should know better than this. I’m sure every mother has experienced this kind of scenario before and probably wished they could just disappear.

Therefore, it would seem like common sense when they see another mother struggling with a crying baby that they turn a blind eye. But I guess common sense gets thrown out the window when there’s a great spectacle to be seen.

So yea, exactly when can we begin to actually enjoy our baby?

A Happy Ending

Looks like I’ll be putting a hold on burning all “Daddy’s Girl” themed clothes. I’ve managed to get my baby mojo back!

After rushing home after work yesterday, I changed into the wife’s nightie and for extra measure and luck, also put on a pair of her leggings that she had laying around. Never hurts to be extra prepared. The wife had gone out with the baby to buy some groceries, but when they came back at 5:30, I swooped in to pick up the baby and scurried to our bedroom, away from the wife.

Caitlyn was already in a fussy mood from sitting in the baby stroller, and a period of crying and screaming ensued for about 15 minutes. I began to fear that I might not be able to ever hold her again, but persistence paid off, and she finally began to tire and eventually fell asleep in my arms. Normally, I would have put her down in her crib, but I needed to use every minute of my time with Caitlyn to my advantage, and so continued to hold her while she slept.

At 6:30, the wife leaves to go to her mom’s house for dinner. With her presence and scent gone, I’m able to breathe a bit easier. Eventually, I decide to put Caitlyn back in her crib at 7:00 so she can get a good rest.

The wife calls later to check up on things and tells me to bring the baby to her mom’s house at 8:00. I balk at the idea because I planned on having her to myself for the evening. However, the wife said we needed to start having more people hold Caitlyn so she could get used to it. I’ve got a feeling that she’s trying to undermine my bonding time with my daughter, but I know that’s just paranoia setting in.

At 8:00, I begrudgingly wake Caitlyn up and carry her to the mother-in-law’s house, which is just down the street. Surprisingly, Caitlyn doesn’t even make a sound the entire time!  I think I might be slowly winning her back. Or maybe she’s still a bit out of it and doesn’t exactly know what’s going on.

As I go to eat dinner, Grandma comes and takes Caitlyn off to feed. So far so good. No cry or whimper coming from her mouth yet. But after finishing her meal, and then perhaps finally realizing who was holding her, Caitlyn begins her crying, and doesn’t stop until Grandma hands her off to me.

A few minutes of walking around with the baby and singing quietly, and I’ve got her calm again.  Grandma comes back for round 2, but gets KO’ed in a matter of minutes. I’m back in the driver’s seat again, working my magic, getting Caitlyn to calm back down. Jessie insists that her mom try again, but round 3 doesn’t go any better for her. I helpfully try suggesting that perhaps she try wearing some of Jessie’s clothes next time.

I’m in high spirits as we walk back home around 9:00. The rest of the night continues smoothly for us. I give Caitlyn a bath and a feeding at midnight before heading off to bed. I’ve managed to keep the wife’s contact with the baby to a bare minimum, and more importantly, got back on Caitlyn’s good side. Life doesn’t get much better than this.

Ain't no shame in my game.

Caitlyn doesn't like Daddy

The unthinkable has happened. Caitlyn has officially shut me out of her life. I might as well go burn all the “Daddy’s Girl,” onsies and bibs we have. She’s all Mommy’s girl now.

I didn’t really notice any change in her behavior until this past Sunday night while I was trying to put her to bed. As usual, she was crying and kicking up a storm as I tried unsuccessfully to get her to calm down. After hearing the baby cry long enough, the wife stepped in and the baby miraculously stopped crying when she held her.

After putting her down to sleep, the wife goes about her business again, but a few moments later, Caitlyn starts crying. I go back to pick her up to soothe, but once again, it’s only when Jessie’s holding her does she stop crying.

At the time, I was just thinking, “Hmm…the wife’s just a better soother than me,” and didn’t think any more of it.

Yesterday, after I come back from work, the wife tells me that her mom came over in the afternoon and the baby cried each time she tried to hold her. I didn’t put two and two together yet, thinking that perhaps our baby only liked the wife and me since we were her primary caretakers.

But later that night, when I put Caitlyn in her baby carrier for a walk outside, she just kept crying and crying. Something she doesn’t normally do whenever she’s in the carrier. We thought this was due to the fact that we had perhaps put her in the carrier too soon after feeding her.

However, even after taking her out and having me holding her, the crying continued. And it continued when we got back home. Until, of course, when I handed the baby to the wife. That’s when it slowly started to sink in. My baby only likes her mommy, not daddy! I was devastated. I felt like crying. And that’s when I went into panic mode.

The most obvious reason for this drastic shift must be from the fact that the wife stays home and bonds all day with the baby while I only get to see her at night. I looked online to see if people had any advice for situations like this. It comforted me a bit knowing that many people see this type of behavior in their babies too.

I knew the best way to reverse this behavior would be increasing the amount of time spent with Caitlyn. Reading a story, snapping some photos, and pinching her cheeks a few times each night wouldn’t cut it anymore. Sending the wife out of the house so the baby can’t see or smell her is also an option.

I read that it’s sometimes helpful to have your partner wear your shirt while she’s holding the baby. This way, she smells my scent too. A good idea, but not good enough.

Therefore, I took it to the next level by demanding the wife give me the shirt she was wearing so I could wear it. It was a lacy, fuchsia-colored, plunging v-neck nightie that would have made any cross dresser squeal with delight.

Somehow, I managed to squeeze myself into it and patiently waited for Caitlyn to wake up so I could feed her. The only problem was that it was nearing midnight now, and she didn’t seem to be waking up any time soon. Eventually, I had to admit defeat and head off to bed.

Even with that minor setback, my plan for winning Caitlyn back is still fully intact. Tonight, I'm breaking out my A-game, fuchsia-colored nightie and all!

 Mommy's girl lifting her head

 Mommy's girl smiling

 Mommy's girl playing with Harry Hippo