Birth Story

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June 7, 11:45 a.m. – We arrive at the hospital. I prepare myself for another rejection.

12:30 p.m. – The doctor takes a look at Jessie. Contractions still aren’t where they need to be, but her cervix has dilated to almost 4 cm. He takes pity on us and admits us into the hospital. Third time’s the charm. Victory at last!

1:00 p.m. – After an ultrasound and a blood and urine sample, Jessie is wheeled into the waiting room where she’ll be until the second stage of labor. Then she’ll go into the delivery room for the final hurrah.

1:45 p.m. – Jessie: Can I get an epidural now?
Nurse: Well, your blood test hasn’t come back yet. We usually wait for that before deciding whether or not it’s safe to proceed.
Jessie: That’s nice. So, I’m getting the epidural now, right?
Nurse: Uhh…not exactly.
Jessie: I was promised a freaking epidural! Now give it to me!
Nurse: Like I said, we’re still waiting for the results of your blood test.
Jessie: Where’s my epidural?! How long before I get it?!
Nurse: Results should be back in about an hour.
Jessie: No! I was promised an epidural when I first got here. You lied!
Nurse: I’ll see what we can do.
Jessie: Give me my epidural! Baby, make them give it to me!
Me: (Menacingly shaking a fist at the nurse) Give my wife her epidural or else! Grr…!
Me: How was that?
Jessie: (Cries softly)

2:30 p.m. – Cervix has now dilated to almost 8 cm. The nurse says that since Jessie is so close to giving birth, there may be no need for an epidural. Wrong thing to say, buddy. Wrong thing to say.

Jessie: GIVE ME MY F***ING EPIDURAL!!!

3:00 p.m. – No blood result yet = A very angry, upset, annoyed, mad, livid, irate, aggravated, pissed-off Jessie.

3:30 p.m. – I’m hoping that the blood result never comes. If that happens, then Jessie won’t get her epidural. Everyone is in agreement that she shouldn't use it at this point. Everyone except for Jessie, of course. To calm her down, we used some stalling techniques.

Jessie’s Mom: Well, I just went to talk to the nurse. She said the results should be coming soon. (She was really outside talking on the phone.)

Me: Don’t worry honey. Look, your mom’s going out to tell the nurse to hurry up with the results. (She was really going to the bathroom.)

Me: Ok, I just talked to the doctor. He said the results should be here in 10 minutes. (Yea, right.)

My mom: What’s that? I think I hear them coming down the hall with your epidural! (There’s silence in the hallway.)

Jessie: Liars! You’re all liars!!!

3:45 p.m. – Water breaks. No epic Noah’s flood here. Just a little stream.

4:00 p.m. – Results from the blood tests are finally in. Jessie’s cleared to have an epidural if she wants one. The doctor is still recommending that she doesn’t use it as she’s close to birth and the epidural could slow down the process. His words barely register with her. She’s getting that epidural.

4:20 p.m. – The nurses finish setting up the epidural. If Jessie had seen the size of the needle they used and the way they inserted it into her, she probably would have never wanted it in the first place. The drug has an immediate effect on Jessie as she falls strangely silent and is seemingly at peace.

4:30 p.m. – A nurse comes to check how Jessie’s cervix is doing. It’s almost at 10 cm.

4:45 pm. – A nurse comes in to ask when Jessie last peed. Jessie has no idea. Oooh!! Oooh!! I know!! A quick glance in my notebook reveals the answer – 1 o’clock. I knew all my note taking would come in handy.

4:50 p.m. – Another nurse comes in and asks when Jessie started using the epidural. The nurse that’s attending to Jessie doesn’t know. Oh, but I do Alex Trebek! For $500, what is, 4:30 p.m.?

5:10 p.m. – With Jessie's cervix completely dilated, the nurse teaches her how to push by pulling her legs towards her chest with her hands. This will help move the baby down the birth canal. Every time she has a contraction, she’s to do this movement. She’s to do this until we see a quarter-sized piece of the head peeking out. Only then can she move into the delivery room.

5:20 p.m. – Jessie’s mom, my mom, and I have all joined in on the campaign to get Jessie to the delivery room. I’m pulling Jessie’s shoulders up and Jessie’s mom and my mom have a leg each that they’re pulling on to help her.

In between each contraction, Jessie’s legs have started to go into spasms because of the energy that she’s exerting. Therefore, we begin massaging Jessie’s body and giving her words of encouragement while she’s resting. She’s a prize fighter and we’re her cornermen. Let’s get it on!

We're working just as hard as Jessie is. And to make matters worse, the nurse comes and turns off the epidural. Uh-oh. Angry Jessie is going to be back on the prowl soon. Muhammad Ali is about to turn into Mike Tyson.

6:05 p.m. – The doctor comes to see how far along Jessie is in pushing. She’s still got a bit of pushing to do before she’s ready for the delivery room. Jessie explains to him that pain is beginning to creep back into her body, but if the doctor were to give her another epidural injection, well, she could probably push that baby out in 10 seconds flat. I’m not too surprised that he didn’t fall for that one.

I don’t think Jessie should be using it anymore and I voice my opinion. I just tune out her cursing and say that we should wait and see how she feels in a bit before making any decisions. Maybe she can make it without the epidural. The doctor seconds my opinion. Oh yea! I’m finally getting some due credit around here.

However, all that is overruled when a nurse comes in later and Jessie convinces her to turn on the epidural again.

7:10 p.m. – Jessie’s still diligently pushing at each contraction but the little bugger doesn’t seem to want to budge. Team Jessie is completely spent from helping her push, but we keep at it.

7:25 p.m. – Jessie asks the nurse to up the dosage of her epidural injection. Come on! Did you think labor was supposed to be a pain free experience? This isn’t supposed to be a trip to the country club. There’s no such thing as a free ride.

7:45 p.m. – A nurse comes in to turn off the epidural again. Jessie puts up a fit. The nurse says it’s causing Jessie’s labor to slow down. We’re all begging Jessie to suck it up while she enters into the home stretch, but she’s hooked. Finally, the nurse has had enough of Jessie’s shenanigans, ignores her pleas, and turns off the machine.

8:00 p.m. – The fear of prolonged pain must have jumpstarted Jessie’s willpower, as she begins pushing enthusiastically again, and by the time 8 o’clock rolls around, it’s decided that she can go into the delivery room.

8:10 p.m. – Finally, this is the scene that you always see in movies. Jessie’s sitting in the seat with her legs up on the stirrups and the doctor’s at the bottom awaiting the baby. However, the movies have left one part out. There’s a nurse that’s using her forearm to physically help push the baby down and out of Jessie. It’s not a light push either. She’s bearing her entire weight onto Jessie’s poor belly. I expect to see the baby come flying out.

8:18 p.m. – Caitlyn Olivia Wu enters into the world! She weighs in at a healthy 3,416 grams. She’s got five finger on each hand, five toes on each foot, and no tail. In other words, she’s perfect!

8:30 p.m. – The placenta follows shortly after Caitlyn Olivia.

Jessie: Where are you going?
Me: I’m going to take a picture of our alien baby.
Doctor: What alien baby? There’s no alien baby here.
Me: Yea, there is.
Doctor: Where?
Me: Over there! The placenta!
Doctor and nurses: ….
Jessie: Just ignore him.

June 8, 1:00 a.m. – Now that labor is over and done with, and we’ve finally settled down in our recovery room, I can finally reflect back on everything that’s transpired. It’s been a grueling 24 hours of labor. I can happily say that Jessie and I survived the ordeal with flying colors.

Somehow, I never thought labor was going to be like this. I figured I’d be standing at Jessie’s side with camera in hand, politely cheering her on while she’s doing all the work.

Never did I think I would see every graphic detail that took place. I always thought everything would be pristinely covered by towels and curtains, but everything was laid bare to see.

If you like blood and guts and all things that come with it (that would be me), labor surely does not disappoint. This was like watching an unrated version of the Discovery channel. I found everything surprisingly interesting. Here was everything that I had been reading about in my baby books, brought to life.

With this out of the way, the next challenge awaits us – being parents! This one could slightly be more imposing and intimidating. And it begins in about an hour when the nurse brings baby Caitlyn into our room to breastfeed!

First moment together

Tired baby

Family photo

Cry baby

 

Proud grandparents

All cleaned up

Still Waiting...

June 6, 8:00 p.m. – Regular contractions start. They last approximately one minute and are 10 minutes apart.

June 7, 1:00 a.m. – Jessie’s had about all that she can stand of her never-ending contractions and wants to go to the hospital. I tell her the contractions are still too far apart, but she could care less. She calls the hospital, but they tell her the same thing – to stay home and wait.

If anything, Jessie’s one persistent son of a gun. The hospital could tell her to stay home 99 times, but she’d still make that hundredth call, just in case.

Jessie: These contractions are f***ing painful!
Me: Well, don’t forget what your mom said. “You haven’t even begun to experience pain yet.”

(Jessie reaches over and slaps husband across the face.)

2:30 a.m. – Contractions are still lasting approximately one minute in length, but are now 7 minutes apart. Jessie says she’s ready to go to the hospital. I tell her that her contractions aren’t 5 minutes apart yet.

She should follow the 5-1-1 guideline. Contractions that are 5 minutes apart, 1 minute each time, for one hour. There’s a reason it’s not called the 10-1-1 or 7-1-1 guideline. She gets angry when I say this and stomps/waddles off.

3:20 a.m. – Contractions are lasting one minute and are 5 minutes and 30 seconds apart. That’s close enough for Jessie. She gets her things ready and we’re off to the hospital.

4:45 a.m. – The doctor comes in to inspect Jessie. Apparently, contractions that are 5 minutes apart aren’t good enough. For first time mothers, they should be about 3 minutes apart. Her cervix has also only dilated about 2 cm. The doctor says it should be about 4 cm when she’s admitted to the hospital. To Jessie’s dismay, it’s time to head on back home.

Doctor: On a scale of one to ten, one being pain that’s hardly felt, and ten being pain that makes you want to jump off the roof of a building, what would you rate your pain?
Jessie: Maybe a 7 or 8.

7 or 8?!! This is only the Early Phase of labor! This is supposed to be tiddlywinks compared to the Transition Phase. I think the doctor’s going to have to make a completely new pain scale just for Jessie.

10:15 a.m. – Contractions are lasting a little over a minute, but have now become 6 minutes and 30 seconds apart. Jessie seems to have lost all hope that this will end any time soon. As far as she’s concerned, this is hell and she’s eternally damned to be tormented by these contractions.

11:00 a.m. – Jessie’s mom comes over to check on her. She and my mom are in agreement that Jessie should go to the hospital. Jessie is more than happy to oblige. My argument about how the doctor said to wait until contractions are 3 minutes apart, fall on deaf ears. They’ve out-voted me, 3 to 1.

Considering the fact that the wife didn’t sleep at all last night and has painful contractions every few minutes or so, I'm surprised that she’s held up this long. For someone with an extremely low threshold for pain, she’s doing admiringly well.

Sure, she did look crazily into my eyes more than a few times telling me that she wanted to end this now and get a C-section instead, but thus far, she hasn’t backed up her words. I don’t know if she can maintain this kind of willpower in the later phases and stages of labor, but I’m in your corner!

Now, back to the hospital!

The Pre-Game Show

Apparently, there was some confusion over the title I chose for my previous post. Some readers thought that it was a post about baby Caitlyn being born. I apologize for making you read through the whole thing before realizing there was no grand finale.

When Jessie does go into actual labor and does give birth, I shall use the non-confusing titles, “Jessie is in Labor,” and “Baby Caitlyn has been Born.” There won’t be any half-guesses as to what those posts will be about.

To make it up to any of those who felt cheated out of their time, I’m putting up a picture of Jessie with our newly installed cowmooflage car seat. The picture was taken after we went out for a short walk. I was surprised she offered very little resistance when I told her to pose with the car seat. Maybe she was tired and figured it would just be easier to comply with me so she could get some air conditioning quicker, or maybe she’s starting to enjoy being the center of attention!

Before trying to install it, I was extremely worried about the task because I had read countless numbers of posts about how confusing and difficult it is to install a car seat. Even a quick flip through the lengthy and wordy user manual made me lose whatever enthusiasm I had started out with. But thankfully, installing the car seat was actually pretty easy. I have to admit I did a pretty good job of it. That thing isn’t budging an inch.

Now that apologies are out of the way, I was awaken again by Jessie this morning at 4 am. She’s having contractions and has been timing them with a contraction app I downloaded for her on the iPhone. I take a look at them and they seem to be more legitimate than her 15 minute contractions that she was having last night. These are lasting around 40-50 seconds and are roughly spaced 10 minutes apart.

However, I’m still not convinced we need to be rushing over to the hospital as she’s wanting to do. I believe she’s having Braxton Hicks contractions. These contractions usually precede actual contractions and the purpose of them is to help prepare the body for labor. Many people call Braxton Hicks contractions, “false” labor contractions because they lead many women, such as the wife, to think they’re going into actual labor.

To make sure, I ask her to walk around while she’s having one of her contractions. Her pain lessens. True labor pain won’t be shrugged off so easily. Jessie’s contractions are also felt primarily in her abdominal region. True labor contractions generally start in the lower back and move to the front of the abdomen. All these increase the likelihood that Jessie’s having Braxton Hicks contractions.

I tell her my opinion about how she’s experiencing a false labor, and it doesn’t sit well with her. She angrily says I’m not her and don’t know what she’s feeling. Yes, that is true. But that might be a good thing because someone needs to be the rational, level-headed one here.

I tell her to keep recording her contractions. As each hour passes by, the contractions become shorter and more time elapses between each one. Looks like we’ve got some more waiting to do before actual labor arrives.

Jessie: Oh, these contractions are painful! Now I know what pain is.
Mom: Uh, you haven’t even begun to experience pain yet.
Jessie: ….

It's Show Time!

Yesterday night, around 11 pm, Jessie nudges me out of sleep and says that blood came out while she was going to the bathroom. This wakes me up immediately, and I rush into the bathroom to inspect. Sure enough, inside the toilet, the water is slightly tinged red. I ask if anything else came out, and she said there was a sticky substance when she wiped with a toilet paper.

Thankfully, she didn’t throw this into the toilet and I was able to fish it out of the trashcan. Unfortunately, she had smeared the content by crumpling the toilet paper, but from what I could gather, it was mucus-like and slightly brownish in color. She said there was more of the substance earlier, but had already washed it away.

I told her to leave things exactly the way they were the next time something like this happened. Treat it like a crime scene. After all, if you stumble across a person who’s been murdered in the street, you wouldn’t move the body, mop up all the blood, and throw away his old, blood-stained clothes before calling the police, would you?

She asks what could be the matter, and I said that more than likely, her mucus plug was slowly starting to come out. The mucus plug is mucus that seals the opening of the cervix. It keeps bacteria and infection from entering into the cervix, thus providing a protective barrier for the baby.

As the cervix slowly begins to soften and dilate, the mucus plug comes out. Sometimes, it comes out in one globular mass, and sometimes, it comes out little by little over a period of time, which seems to be the case with Jessie. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes it’s stained brown, pink, or red. This event is also known as the bloody show. But even then, labor could still be days or weeks ahead.

Jessie’s not exactly convinced by what I’m saying and immediately begins getting her bags ready to go to the hospital. She thinks she’s going into labor already. I tell her that unless she’s having contractions lasting 60-90 seconds, every 3 to 5 minutes, she’s not about to have the baby any time soon. But to ease her anxiety, I tell her to call the hospital and ask their opinion. Not surprisingly, the nurse backs up what I’ve just said. Jessie relents and decides to go back to sleep.

About two hours after falling back to sleep, Jessie wakes me up a second time. She’s just gone to the bathroom and there’s blood in the toilet again. I go to inspect and it’s a bit more than previously. There seems to be a bit of mucus discharge in there too, but not much.

Jessie starts telling me that along with the mucus and blood, she has a headache, her stomach is tightening, and that her back hurts. According to her, these are signs that she is about to have the baby. I disagree and say she might be jumping the gun a bit, as these signs seem to be pointing instead to the fact that the early phase of labor might not be too far away.

Once more, she makes the move to get her bags ready. As a precaution, I make her call the hospital again, and the nurse repeats that these symptoms are perfectly normal and there is no need to go to the hospital right now, unless she really wants to get things checked out to ease her mind. Jessie decides to wait it out.

I tell her this is exactly why I wanted to discuss the issue of labor with her. If she doesn’t know what’s going on, she’s just running around like a panicked chicken with its head cut off. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be. Then, Jessie does something I wasn’t expecting. She actually admits I’m right and that she’s sorry. Hallelujah! She’s finally seen the light!

A few hours later, I’m woken again by Jessie telling me there’s more blood and mucus in the toilet. I diligently go look and yup, there surely is more blood and mucus. The bloody show has turned itself into a trilogy.

She proceeds to tell me that she’s having strong contractions and that this could be serious. I ask her how long the contractions are lasting and she says about 15-20 minutes. Woman, no contraction lasts that long! Plus, there’s no way she could be playing with her iPhone and chatting with me if she were having contractions as strong as she claimed.

She doesn’t listen and begins to try timing her so-called contractions. I leave her crazy self be and go back to sleep. She shortly gives up on her hopeless endeavor and goes to sleep too.

In the morning, we go to the hospital to make sure everything is normal. The doctor checks Jessie out and says that the mucus plug is indeed slowly starting to come out. There’s nothing to worry about and Jessie can continue on as she normally does.

To recap: The bloody show is a bit anti-climatic. I was expecting more and thus, was a bit disappointed. If you’re going to label something “the bloody show,” it better well be something that Hostel director, Eli Roth, would be proud of.

Breathing Techniques 101

“Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don’t forget to breathe, very important.”  - Mr. Miyagi

Oh, man. There is just way too much information involving breathing techniques. How hard can breathing be?! Trying to understand and remember some of these breathing techniques is probably just as stressful as having the baby itself. No wonder Jessie wanted me to sort through all this mess for her. Smart. Delegate the hard work to the lowly, underpaid peon.

Breathing shouldn’t be something difficult to grasp. Just like Mr. Miyagi says, breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Simple as ABC. With that in mind, I will try to break things down in the most basic way.

First of all, what is the purpose of breathing techniques during labor? Well, breathing techniques help cope with the pain that you’re experiencing when giving birth. Different techniques during the different stages and phases of labor can help provide focus and put you in control of the situation, as well as making contractions more productive.

However, most experts agree that the main benefit of using breathing techniques is that it ensures the baby is receiving enough oxygen throughout the birthing process and makes sure you don’t become too fatigued.

STAGE ONE:

Early Phase Breathing – During the very first phase of labor, focus on inhaling and exhaling throughout the contractions. Use a cleansing breath before and after each contraction. A cleansing breath is an exaggerated, deep breath done by breathing through the nose and out the mouth. This allows for an increased supply of oxygen and helps to relax you.

Active/Transition Phase Breathing – As contractions begin to intensify, you can begin to take quicker, shallower breaths. As the contraction peaks, you can breathe through your mouth as if you were panting. Between every few breaths, you can try inserting a deeper inhalation and exhalation. When the intensity of the contractions begins to taper off, try resuming the focused breaths through the nose and out the mouth.

You will probably feel like pushing during the last two phases, but resist the urge. If the cervix is not completely dilated, pushing can cause damage or tearing. Kneeling on all fours with the pelvis pointing upwards while panting or blowing through the contractions can help.

STAGE TWO:

The cervix is now completely dilated and you will begin pushing through the contractions. As the urge to push comes and goes throughout a contraction, you should avoid holding your breath. Instead, take a deep breath in and slowly release it as you push. Moaning and grunting can also help. 

After fully exhaling, take a couple of shallow breaths and then another deep breath as the urge to push comes again. Continue this until the contraction subsides. Try keeping your breaths at an even pace. Begin and end each contraction with a cleansing breath to help you relax.

And there you have it, breathing in a nutshell! Easy, no? Now go out there and get ‘em, champ!

Go Joe!

Yesterday night, I asked Jessie if she was ready for labor and whether or not she knew what to expect. She said yes, and started rambling a bunch of nonsense, which gave away the fact that she really didn’t. I told her I wanted to sit down and clarify a few things with her.

As I began my lesson on the stages of labor, this is the conversation that ensued:

Me: So, during the transition phase, contractions last 60…….
Jessie: Stop, stop, stop!
Me: What’s the matter? Am I going too fast?
Jessie: No. I don’t want to know any of this. I only need to know the basics.
Me: You mean you don’t want my advanced placement class?
Jessie: Yes.
Me: So, exactly what are the basics?
Jessie: When blood starts coming out or my water breaks, I’m going to the hospital. That’s all I need to know.
Me: Oh….

It’s interesting how we have two completely different lines of thought. I’ve always aligned myself with the G.I. Joe motto, “Knowing is half the battle.” Jessie is obviously part of the “Less is more” campaign.

To her, going into labor is already a scary enough ordeal. She doesn’t need to know any of the graphic details. The less she knows about what’s happening next, the better. As long as there’s a competent doctor taking care of things, she’ll be fine and dandy. I don’t know if I completely agree with that, but I can respect her opinion and wishes.

I tell her not to worry and that I will be keeping a tab on her and taking notes on how everything is progressing during labor, although I promise to keep things to myself.

Labor 101

Along with making sure I had my check-list in order, Jessie also asked me to brush up on the breathing techniques that she’s supposed to be doing while in labor. She says she might “forget” how to do them. What she’s really trying to say is, she has no clue and needs my expertise. Well, that’s what I’m here for! Therefore, without further ado, I will present a two-part, crash course to labor and breathing.

There are three basic stages to labor.

First stage: The first stage of labor occurs when the cervix (the narrow portion of the uterus that connects to the top of the vagina) dilates (opens) and effaces (thins out) to allow the baby down into the birth canal. The first stage of labor is divided into three phases: Early, Active, and Transition.

In the early phase, the woman will have irregular contractions, and the cervix will be dilated to 4 cm. (No need to break out the ruler for a measurement.) As the cervix begins to open, you will notice a thick, stringy, bloody discharge from the vagina. This is called a bloody show. No, this is not like a horror show on TV that you can watch while eating popcorn.

The early phase can last up to 14 hours or longer for some first-time moms. During this time, most women can carry on doing what they normally do. You don’t have to go to the hospital during the early phase.

In the active phase, contractions come at regular intervals and are stronger and closer together. You should be at the hospital or speeding your way there. Contractions tend to last 40 to 60 seconds and are spaced 3 to 5 minutes apart. Active labor can last up to 6 hours or longer. It is during this stage that an epidural (if needed) is used to decrease the pain.

The transition phase is one of the shortest parts of labor. However, it can last from several minutes to several hours. Contractions will last 60 to 90 seconds and come 2 to 3 minutes apart.

The transition phase is considered to be one of the hardest parts of labor and if she hasn't already started yet, the wife will soon begin cursing up a storm. If there’s one point during labor where the video camera should be recording, this is it. Nothing says "I love you" more than a big "F*** you!" At this point, the cervix will be dilated to 10 cm.

Second stage: This is the stage where the real pushing begins and the woman delivers the baby. It can take a few minutes or several hours. Breathing techniques are recommended to help ease the pain and keep the woman focused. Often times, women will poop during this stage because of the pushing that’s involved. (This could be an interesting photo-op, though I doubt the wife would approve.)

Third stage: The placenta is delivered in the third stage. This is the organ that connects the fetus to the uterine wall and regulates nutrition uptake, waste elimination, and gas exchange. It's a nice surprise for dads that aren’t expecting anything to follow after the baby. While it looks alien in nature, do not think that you are having an alien baby. The placenta is typically delivered in 5-30 minutes.

If you add up all three stages, giving birth is a pretty drawn-out process. This isn’t the movies where one minute the woman is walking down the street, and the next minute, she’s got a baby in her hands.

Speaking of movies, a woman’s water (amniotic fluid) rarely breaks before labor. It only happens in about 15% of women, and instead of the torrential wave of water that’s often portrayed in films, it’s usually more of an unimpressive leak. 75% of women will have their water broken during the active phase of labor.

Whatever happens, it looks like the wife is going to be in for the fight of her life. I'm rooting for you!